Be Honest About Where You Are, Decide To Be Deliberately Different – Consciously deciding to change and do things differently helps cut painful connections with the past.  Different can be very delightful, deliberately deciding to do things differently can be very liberating.

Joy Has NO Price Tag – Our greatest joys don’t come from gifts of material things.  The people, memories, experiences and magic moments that bring us the most joy are not tangible items. Recall sources of joy in the past and recreate them in new and different ways.

Create a Colonial Christmas – imagine what Christmas was like 250 years ago for the first settlers of our country. Create a 1760’s Christmas – simple, joyous, special.  Decorate using free, natural items:  pine cones, evergreen limbs, pop corn strings.

Cut simple decorative shapes from colored paper or old magazines.  Enjoy candles with mirrors.  Look for bonfires if you don’t have a fireplace.

Consider Exchanging Care Coupons - Create and decorate coupons for the intangible gifts your loved ones will value the most:

• This coupon is good for one hour of help with anything you ask – I promise to work hard happily, enthusiastically and energetically.

• This coupon is good for one hour of undivided, uninterrupted time together doing exactly what you want to do.  I promise to give my full, undivided, sincere, enthusiastic attention and appreciation to you and whatever you decide to do.

Create a Another Country’s Non Commercial,  Cultural Christmas – What Christmas would be like if you were living in a Hindu, Muslim or Buddhist country?  Or in a simple village in Latin America?  Mongolia?  Ethiopia?  Learn about other cultures, recreate one for a memorable, enjoyable holiday.

Emphasize Enjoyable Experiences – Look for experiences that bring happiness and joy in the holiday season.

End Extravagant Expectations – Money does not buy a joyful holiday.

See Stabs Of Self Pity As An SOS - Immediately redirect your time, energy and attention toward thoughts, actions, objectives and activities that will help you to build happiness and spiritual success.

Enjoy Natural Beauty – Take walks.  Savor, enjoy and appreciate the beauty around you:  the special smells, the fresh air on your face, the spectacular sunsets you were always too busy to watch.

Assess Reality Accurately, Don’t Get Carried Away - Don’t diminish holiday joy by over spending, over eating or over compensating for any difficulties, it’s not necessary.

Strangers Can Offer Security And Safety – Family relationships and even long standing friendships can suddenly turn toxic over the holidays.  New or different people change holiday dynamics and interactions.  Changing the place, time and theme of holiday celebrations can help break bad ruts.

Begin Your New Year’s Resolutions Early -  Whatever they are, begin now.  Eat and drink healthily.  Avoid excesses, too much rich food, alcohol.  Too many sweets and starches can drive you nuts.   Jump start your diet, exercise or personal development programs.  Exercise aggressively. Eat wisely.

Continually Sparkle, Radiate and Set A Positive, Enthusiastic  Holiday Tone – Consciously deciding to continually sparkle and radiate joy raises your spirits and the spirits of the people around you.  Use holidays as an excuse to smile, speak and greet strangers warmly. Extend a genuine holiday welcome to everyone you meet.

Be Adventuresome And Creative – Decide to do things you haven’t done before, or decide to do them in very different ways.

There are lots of wonderful new ways to enjoy the holidays, find them, explore  and enjoy them.

Look For Free Festive Activities With New People In New Places – Volunteering to help others often comes with free food and fun holiday festivities. Find free concerts, free special holiday events and religious activities. Learn about different cultures or religious groups. Visit a friend, relative or shut in who will relish your company.

Spend time really exploring, enjoying and savoring the holiday season and holiday decorations.  Do things you were always too busy to do in the past.  Make this holiday wonderfully different and it won’t be deficient.

Creativity Is A Key To Happiness In Ordinary Times, It Is Especially Important In Hard Times.  Find Creative New Ways To Enjoy Your Holiday And Bring Joy To Others!

Focus on Fixes – What can you do to correct the problem, ensure it doesn’t happen again, gain from your pain, learn, grow, strengthen your skills and insights to build happiness and future success?

Don’t Beat Yourself Up, Blame, Complain or Criticize! Focusing on where you are now and what’s wrong keeps you stuck in the problem and miserable.  Focusing on what you want to do differently and where you want to go in the future helps you grow and achieve it.

We don’t feel better by blaming, beating ourselves up or by focusing on problems. Beating ourselves up reinforces errors we want to avoid.  It focuses time and attention on what’s wrong, not on building new skills and strategies that bring happiness and future success.

We Bounce Back by embracing our goals, our Best Selves and by focusing on what we want to achieve and do differently and then working hard to attain it.

Turn Anguish Into Achievement – Turn anger, regret and anguish into positive actions that improve the situation and help you to be happy and more effective in the future.

Worrying about problems is very different from solving or resolving problems.  Regret and remorse do not bring reform. Desire and Determination To Do Things Differently Bring Positive Change.

Ask yourself, Is being upset helping me to fix the problem or to be more effective in the future?  How long do I want to be upset?  How miserable do I want to be and for how long?

Rebounding Rapidly:  Think about how will you feel when the problem is behind you, when you have successfully rebounded.  Visualize yourself successfully recovered from the problem.  Feel those powerful positive feelings, embrace and project them.  Practice feeling and being in rebound mode until it becomes habit.

Our Best: We are truly at our best and able to perform our best when we are UP, confident, energized, focused and happy.  Don’t tear yourself down, distract or distress yourself.   Don’t detract from your ability to excel and do well.

Bad things happen but they don’t have to make you miserable.

See yourself at your best, feel those powerful, confident feelings and project them.  They will become genuinely yours.   More Bouncing Back

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors.  Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights.

Don’t Beat Yourself UP!

You Have To Be At Your Best To Perform Your Best.

Tearing yourself down is distracting and detracts from your ability to do well. It is very counterproductive.

You’re spending all your time and attention focusing on what went wrong and burning it into memory with lots of negative energy.

No time or attention is spent identifying, learning and strengthening skills and strategies that will build future success and happiness.

Why do we do it?

When we are little, parents and authority figures punish us in order to protect us from the dangers of wrong doing.

On some level we learn the wrong lesson, that beating ourselves up is a way to improve performance so we do it to ourselves.

By focusing on where we are and what’s wrong we stay stuck.  We’re rehearsing and reliving our errors .

Beating yourself up reinforces errors you want to avoid.

Remorse and Regret do not necessarily bring Reform.

By focusing on where we want to go and become, we can grow.

Channel all anger and anguish about errors and mistakes to fixing problems, identifying and practicing what you want to do differently in the future.

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors.  Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights.

Relish opportunities to explore and appreciate their gifts, resolve to acquire some of their skills or strengths for yourself.

Ted Kennedy’s exuberant enthusiasm for life, his dedication to doing exceptional work and determination to put aside differences to achieve worthwhile goals earned him exceptional respect, admiration and trust.

His spiritual strengths epitomize and exemplify many key Happiness Habits:

• Exuberant Enthusiasm for life and for all the opportunities each day offers.

• Compassionate Caring for All People, especially the weak, powerless and disenfranchised.

• Fierce Independence and willingness to fight for their beliefs against prevailing opposing opinions.

• Fearless & Passionate Expression of their Convictions without reserved reticence.

• Learning Something New Each Day to turn life into an exciting adventure fueled by eager exploration.

• Determination To Do Their Very Best Work drawing on all available resources to achieve their very best.

• Fueling Their Life and Work With Fun, expressing genuine delight in everything they do.

• Having A Good Time All The Time knowing it’s the best way to get help and support from others.

• Making the Most of Every Moment knowing life is entirely too short.

What inspiration do you find in the lives of a great leader?
What makes them so successful and exceptional?
What new qualities do they inspire you to emulate, embrace and acquire?

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors.  Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights.

Feeling sad about bad times does not help us deal with them well.

It’s especially important to find ways to be happy during difficult times so we can do our best and limit our stress and pain.

Happiness In Hard Times will explore specific ways of doing this.

The best optimism comes from confidence and a conviction that no matter what happens to us and around us, we will find ways to triumph and be happy.

Changed environments always offer new opportunities, benefits and new freedoms. Our challenge is to find them, embrace them and enjoy them.  The greatest dangers are isolation, insecurity and inactivity.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. ~ Anais Nin

Scientific research on post-traumatic growth shows people often become more resilient after facing adversity. Creativity, determination and confidence surge as we adapt to changed circumstances.

Successfully weathering one storm gives us confidence to face others. We suddenly find ourselves easily doing things we never thought we could do before disaster struck.

Business Week’s praise of “rational optimism” left me confused and convinced in the importance of understanding how optimism can both help and hurt during hard times.

“Don’t worry, everything will be okay” are dangerous words when they prompt us to ignore key warning signs or encourage us to be complacent when fast, dramatic action is needed to survive.

Many people mix their moods with their decision making. In prosperous times they are courageous, confident and certain. In bad times they become paralyzed with pessimism.

Habitually happy people know how they like to feel. They like to feel good all the time, no matter what is happening to them or around them. Still, they are not prone to blinding optimism.

They are surprisingly astute in their decision making and make accurate assessments of reality. Once they are sure they have made good decisions, then they use the full force of enthusiasm and positive expectation to drive their visions into reality.

Real optimism is more and very different from a rosy outlook and putting annoyingly positive spins on everything that happens.

True optimism comes from a fundamental confidence that no matter what happens, you will find a way to be happy and enjoy life.

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors.

The Universe respects, admires and trusts people of high integrity who always try to do the right and best thing.

You can’t be happy when you continually feel guilty or worried about wrong doing and about being found out, exposed and punished.

Deceit and Dishonesty Destroy Happiness

To be happy, you need to feel good about who you are and what you do.

Continually trying to do your best, feel your best and be your best helps build happiness.

More importantly…

We Can’t Love People We Don’t Trust

Deceit and dishonesty destroy relationships.  We need The Truth to make good decisions. Dishonest, deceitful people lead us to poor decisions because they distort or disguise the Truth for their own gain.

Beware of Sociopaths & Psychopaths:

A surprisingly large percentage of the population has no conscience, no remorse, no compassion, no empathy for others.

Psychologists and Law Enforcement professionals call these people Sociopaths and Psychopaths.  The primary constraint on a psychopath’s or sociopath’s behavior is concern about being found out, exposed and punished.

They have no conscience, no remorse or guilt to restrain or contain their misbehavior.

Psychopaths and Sociopaths also exhibit what psychologists term “a flat affect.”  Their lack of conscience, concern and remorse is accompanied by an inability to bond and feel love, understanding and empathy for others. Constant thrill seeking often fills the void of love in their lives.

When Love Is Limited Or Lacking There Is No Happiness.

Happy people who embrace high values need to be very wary of these people. Psychopaths and Sociopaths are often very charming, charismatic and deceptive.

It’s hard to believe that such seemingly warm, wonderful people can be so evil and malevolent.  “We see the world as we are, not as it is” wrote  Anais Nin.

Be Loving And Be Careful!

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our websites and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights!

Happiness·Hope·Change – HappinessHopeChange.com – Celebrating our January 20th Inauguration and the messages and lessons it carries

-  and  -  Resolve To Be Happy – ResolveToBeHappy.com – sharing specific steps to turn Happiness Resolutions into powerfully effective Happiness Solutions

have been added to the HappinessHabit.com website.

During 2009 we’ll continue to develop specific Happiness subject web sites targeted to address specific needs, uses and desires.

As you know, HappinessBlog.com has evolved and changed significantly through the years.

Our first postings in 2005 described basic Happiness Habits and the important tenets for living a happy, spiritually successful life.

Having covered Happiness Habits both here and in other postings through the years, HappinessBlog.com  began to emphasize current Happiness news, research and events.

New readers may not want to dig back several years to read our initial happiness postings. We’ll leave them in place in their original form to preserve the links.

We will also rewrite and refocus many of our materials in new and exciting ways during 2009 to focus on specific needs and uses.

Our more contentious commentary regarding current Happiness research and coverage will be migrated to a separate site with a new name.

HappinessBlog.com will return to it’s powerfully positive theme and tone.  We’ll try to keep abreast of news items supported by permanent links to happiness materials that could be of interest and help to large groups of people.

We hope you will enjoy the new look, tone and approach for HappinessBlog.com during the coming year!

Very best New Year’s wishes,

Michele Moore and the
Happiness Habit Team

“Happiness isn’t a solitary experience, it’s dependent on others” the study asserts.

Is it surprising that researchers who studied the effects of social networks on happiness would find that social interactions are necessary for happiness? They even examined geographic variables…

“Close physical proximity is essential for happiness to spread,” the study reports. “A happy friend who lives within a half mile makes you 42% more likely to be happy yourself.  If that same friend lives two miles away, the impact drops to 22%. Happy siblings make you 14% more likely to be happy, but only if they live within a mile.”

Egad! What are we meant to do to be happy? Move closer to happy friends and siblings if we have them?  What if they’re not close by or if they suddenly face tragedy and become unhappy?

How does this help us find Happiness In Hard Times? Does the study provide useful insights that help the world be happier during difficult times? Did they reduce their analysis to ridiculous decimals?

NBS’c clips show people looking outside of themselves for happiness as if happiness is not a product of our own internal orientation and decisions.

“What makes me happy is…  a good meal,  knowing my job is in good shape, a yo yo?”

What about people facing difficult times who have none of these external delights, are they doomed to despair and depression? What can we do to bring greater joy to difficult situations?

We love NBC and MSNBC. Their integrity and intellectual sophistication is often lacking in the other networks. On occasion, NBC goes to amusing lengths to protect the public from themselves.

Watch Jon Stewart’s hilarious report on NBC’s Macy’s Thanksgiving parade coverage.  A good laugh is a great way to bring happiness into your life.

See Happiness In Hard Times for Happiness Habit’s hints about how to be happy during difficult times.

Copyright © 2008, Michele Moore.  All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.

We’ve not been silent the past few months!

HappinessHabit.com
has expanded and embraced and exciting new scope and look!

We’ll be emphasizing Happiness In Hard Times - How To Be Happy When Times Are Tough & Help Others To Be Happy Too in coming months.

See new postings:
Breaking Blocks To Learning
on
Happiness Habits For Families
and
Seven Steps to Seeing Communications Clearly
and the
Power of Truth
on
Fight With Finesse.

Explore HappinessHabit.com to expand and enhance your happiness!

Copyright © 2008, Michele Moore.  All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.