What makes for happy, successful lives and relationships?
Friendship, Trust and Teamwork
There is no greater gift than to help a person achieve their goals.
Good happy relationships help people achieve their goals and their dreams!
“But we’re so different!” is a frequent concern. People who work, live or spend time together happily and successfully grow together over time. We are enriched by differences and learn from them.
Key questions to ask…
- Are our goals the same? Do we want to achieve the same things? Do we want to travel to the same destinations in five, ten and twenty years?
- Is my life truly better with them or without them?
- Are our values the same?
- Are we compatible, do we enjoy spending time together?
- Do I have FUN with this person? Do they make me laugh?
Do Your Homework Before Becoming Involved
Spend time building friendship, trust and teamwork. If you can’t do it early in a relationship, you probably won’t be able to do it later once your emotions are hooked.
There’s a big problem with allowing sexuality to drive relationships. A person who is inappropriate but sexually attractive draws us into situations that are not good for us. The relationship supplies sexual highs but none of the key components of a good, healthy, successful relationship.
Friendship, trust and teamwork carry relationships over long distances and through difficult times towards happiness, success and achieving our dreams.
Focus on Friendship, Trust and Teamwork for happy, spiritually successful relationships!
Copyright 2007 Michele Moore. All rights Reseved. Contact Us for reprints. See Happiness Habit for more happiness insights.
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Pain Is A Powerful Distractor That Robs Us of Pleasure
Engaging In Unnecessary Pain is Masochistic
Why do we tend to embrace and wallow in our pain?
Emotional and physical pain are powerful negative sources of energy that seize and hold our attention. It’s nature’s way of saying we need to stop what we’re doing to care for ourselves.
Emotional pain is especially powerful, destructive and distracting. We can be energized by the pain and from repeating, reliving or wallowing in painful situations.
We are both energized and made miserable by emotional pain. That’s the problem… it’s a source of energy and misery at the same time.
Sources of energy are attractive… laughter, love, thrills, great music, exercise, elevating experiences, sexual attractions, triumphs and achievement.
Sadly, emotional pain that gives us jolts of energy are also attractive, but in a negative, misery making way. By reliving and rehearing misery, we reinforce misery.
Recognize it for what it is, a jolt of energy from a bad source. Ask yourself,
“Is this positive or productive?”
“Is this helping me in some way?”
“Is this the best use of my time and attention?”
If not, detach and definitively decide to NOT to give it a moment more of your time, well-being or attention. Painful thoughts are robbing you of pleasant present oppportunities for no reason.
Detach and destract yourself from unnecessary misery, distress and despair.
Resolve to direct your attention to positive, uplifting solutions, opportunities and achievements!
Copyright 2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. See Happiness Habit for more happiness resources.
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Habitually Happy people are amazingly altruistic. They rarely pass up a chance to be kind when it costs them little or risks them little.
Practicing Continual Kindness Is A Way To Be Happy.
They are also very adept at protecting themselves, pursuing and achieving their goals. They are not “people pleasers,” they do good because it makes them feel good.
It’s an example of the First Law of Happy Thought:
Our Focus Determines Our Feelings.
When We Focus Our Time, Attention and Energy On Doing Good We Feel Good. More importantly…
We can’t expect others to treat us well if we don’t extend the same care, concern and compassion we want from them to them.
I recently heard a noted economist speak on the subject of giving at a church stewardship dinner. He relayed recent studies linking charitable giving to happiness, but missed a few key points:
Altruism Is Attractive - We tend to like and trust altruistic people because we believe they place goodness, right action and the welfare of others on an equal plane with their own concerns.
It’s hard to like or trust selfish people who don’t show integrity.
Make Goodness A Guiding Goal - Doing good makes us feel good. Giving appropriately makes us feel good because we know we are contributing to worthwhile causes. And the flip side is…
When we don’t feel good about our actions, we can’t truly enjoy the rewards those actions bring. Try the Gold Fish Test - if the world knew the details of your actions, how would you and they feel? Worry isn’t worth it, secrets cause stress.
Love Not Logic Prompts Giving - People need clear, compelling visions of the benefits their gifts provide and a love for the cause in order to support them enthusiastically.
It’s a twist on the old sales adage, “Logic makes people think, emotions make them act.” Build benefits and love before asking for expanded contributions.
There’s an important difference between really wanting to do something and feeling we must, ought or have to do it.
Love Propels Happiness And Giving - Demonstrate how to feel good, proud and joyful about giving. Drive giving with desire.
Acquire The Qualities You Admire In Others - Seek good role models and visions of excellence which help to define the steps to achieve them.
Truly happy, successful people are usually very kind, caring, honest, charitable and compassionate.
Look Like and Live Like the Leaders You Admire. You’ll find they usually give very generously.
Action, Activity and Achievement Are Keys To Happiness. Doing Good Makes Us Feel Good.
Copyright 2001-2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Comment on this article below.
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Many people who truly love their work never want to retire. Then time or mandatory retirement catches up with them and they have no choice.
People who dislike their work can’t wait until the magic time comes.
The question everyone faces is… Then what?
Is a life of leisure all it’s cracked up to be?
What’s the secret to a happy retirement?
If you’re retired and NOT happy, try this…
Find something that makes you mad as hell and go fix it. Or decide to fix a small part of it you can influence and improve. Find something meaningful and worthwhile to devote your life to and work at it diligently.
Find ways to make the world or part of it a better place.
Personal purpose and productivity are important keys to happiness.
A retired banking acquaintance who maintains two large homes and has traveled widely recently quipped,
“Retirement is not all it’s cracked up to be.” He’s a cynic who describes himself as “skeptical” and likes to poke fun at my happiness endeavors.
“Travel?” I asked.
“Be there, done that,” he replied. “We’ve been every where we want to go and there’s no where we want to go back.”
“Passions?” I inquired.
“I don’t have any,” he answered.
“Volunteer work?”
“Did plenty of that while I was at the bank” he answered. After he walked away I realized what he probably really needed was a challenge, something to sink his teeth into.
We spend our lives building and creating businesses and professional careers. Then we walk away thinking our lives will be better when we don’t have to do anything at all. For some it is, for many it is not.
A friend who winters in Naples, Florida comments that many senior executives retire there and then die quickly in three to five years. Their minds and spirits are invigorated by the business challenges they face. Without them, they expire.
It’s as if the universe is saying, You’ve spent your life making money, now it’s time to give back or you may die quickly.
Find a challenge you can sink your teeth into. Make the world a better place. Find something that makes you mad as hell and go fix it. It’s a great way to feel happy, productive and enjoy a long retirement.
See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.
Copyright 2001-2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Comment on this article below.
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Defend Your Happiness - Your good mood, your spiritual freedom and your turf against people, events and things that might take them away! 
FightwithFinesse.com has more insights.
Continually Radiate Confident, Relaxed, Energized Well-being.
Smile As You Speak. Speak slowly, project your words powerfully and purposefully. Talk to the back of the room. Push back with positive personality. Adopt an aura of amused, attractive assertiveness.
Emphasize Positives - Benefits, advantages and rewards of your position and suggestions. Avoid personal attacks, criticism and character assassination.
Don’t Disagree, Argue or Say, “No!” State contrary positions in clear, concise, positive, compelling terms. Emphasize and expand the benefits and rewards of your position and the dangers of doing things differently.
Base Your Position on Good Goals and High Ideals EVERYONE Can Embrace and Few Can Fault.
Don’t React Emotionally - Hold on to your personal power. Reacting to an adversary’s attacks gives them control over your actions and feelings. Chart your own course, don’t give them control.
Hook Attention with Abundant Positive Energy - Agree and direct the discussion your way. Positive energy attracts attention and makes people want to listen.
Don’t Look to your Audience for Approval. Seeking approval gives adversaries power and control over your feelings.
Remember Rebellion and Revolt Fuel Happiness - Revolt and rebel against anyone and anything that tries to control you, drag you down or depress your positive spirits. Don’t give adversaries control of your thoughts or feelings.
Continually Radiate Confidence and Relaxed, Energized Well-being. Try to touch everyone you meet with a positive spirit.
See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.
Copyright 2001-2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Comment on this article below.
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View Work as Steps to Achievement & Satisfaction!
The word “work” can convey wonderful feelings and images…
Think a “work of art” describing something of special beauty or “life’s work” as the pride and satisfaction we feel in long term personal and professional accomplishments.
Work can indeed be wonderful.
For other people, “work” means misery, difficulty and pain.
Anything associated with “work” must be avoided at all cost.
“Work” is by nature unattractive and distasteful.
“Work” deprives us of fun and enjoyment.
Habitually Happy people embrace very different perspectives. They view “Work” as steps to achievement and accomplishment. They love to achieve and accomplish and they always try to enjoy their work.
Habitually happy people decide what they are going to do and then they decide how they are going to enjoy it.
They know viewing something they have to do as difficult, dreary or distasteful allows their attitudes work against them. They always ally their attitudes to support their goals and decisions.
View work as steps to achieving your goals, relish and enjoy each step along the way and you will never have to toil again.
Copyright 2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Contact us for Reprints. For more Happiness Habits see http://HappinessHabit.com Comment on our postings below.
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How much time do you spend Criticizing in relation to time you devote to creating Confidence, Competence, Credibility and Concern in the people you live or work with?
What is your C / C4 ratio?
Criticism is Very Counter Productive! Criticism focuses on what’s wrong, bad or deficient. I
t leaves people deflated and confused.
Hammering Wrongs does NOT Communicate what is Right, good, successful or appropriate! Criticism hurts people and gives them no hint as to what they should do to improve.
Think instead about what you can do to Create the Four C’s…
Confidence - People must feel good about themselves and their abilities to succeed and perform well.
Competence - We must know what excellence is in order to achieve it.
Credibility - People must think your words and insights can help them.
Concern - We must honestly care in order to listen, absorb and apply your message. If we don’t care, your communication is lost completely.
We all need to be able to recognize and rigorously reject wrongs in order to succeed and do well. This requires no more than 10% of our time.
Focus on Rehearsing, Reinforcing and Rewarding Rights… good, upright actions, activities and responses.
Copyright 2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Contact Us for reprints. See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights. Michele Moore is author of How To Live A Happy Life - 101 Ways To Be Happier.
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In the few moments it take a couple of deep, relaxing breaths you can anchor, focus and then send your spirits soaring with delight.
See yourself on a beautiful beach, hear the sound of waves breaking, smell the salt air.
Relax, wiggle your toes, feel sand beneath your feet, balance your body effortlessly upright.
Take a couple of deep, Breaking Wave Breaths™ to the sound of the breaking waves.
See yourself smiling and laughing in your mind’s eye. Feel those feelings, take them on for yourself.
Feel light, relaxed, flexible, fluid, free to soar through the air.
Fill your heart and mind with happiness and delight and send
your spirit soaring with the sea gulls.
Copyright 2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Contact us for reprints. See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights. Michele Moore is author of How To Live A Happy Life - 101 Ways To Be Happier.
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“The highest and greatest of the human freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
~ Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning”
The concept of Spiritual Freedom grew from Viktor Frankl’s incredible accounts of how some men triumphed emotionally and spiritually over the most horrific circumstances, Auschwitz.
“Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical distress.”
Each inmate ultimately chose whether to succumb to prison camp mentality and become a mere product of their environment and experience or to try to triumph spiritually and be something more, better and different.
“Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him - mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp.”
Frankl’s comments underscore a basic tenant of the Happiness Habit -
“If we don’t consciously decide what sort of person we want to be and become, our environment and our experience determine our identity and our destiny for us.”
Beyond the barbed wires in life, there is always a wide expanse of opportunity for spiritual freedom and emotional independence that frees us from being dominated and controlled by our circumstances.
A key to happiness and spiritual success is to always try to look past the barbed wire!
Copyright 2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Contact us for reprints. See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights. Michele Moore is author of How To Live A Happy Life - 101 Ways To Be Happier.
Posted in Happiness Quotes | 1 Comment »
The Clergy 
are the happiest and most satisfied with their jobs according to the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago. Physical therapists and firefighters ranked second and third in overall job satisfaction. Interestingly, these jobs are generally lower paying professions.
Doctors and lawyers who are significantly more affluent report much lower levels of job satisfaction. The least satisfied professions were roofers and waiters, people who work primarily for money because their jobs are seen as having fewer intrinsic rewards.
These survey results reaffirm Happiness Habit’s First Law of Happy Thought: Our Focus Determines Our Feelings
When we devote our time and energy to doing things we find meaningful and rewarding, we feel good. Devoting our lives to altruism and helping others is often the best, most reliable route to true happiness.
Clergy face many difficult stresses daily, dealing with death, demanding church members and dysfunctional subcultures. Their lives are certainly not easy or stress free. The noble calling of their profession, their dedication to goodness and helping others triumphs dramatically over all these disadvantages.
Roofers and waiters who report low job satisfaction can reposition their perspectives to emphasize the value and beauty in what they do.
Everyone can take pride in executing even simple, repetitive jobs extraordinarily well. Linking job satisfaction to the benefits your work provides, keeping a home dry or creating a beautiful dining experience can send your spirits soaring. You no longer work just for money but for the good you do for others.
Doctors and lawyers who adopt similar perspectives achieve far greater satisfaction from their work. When they just focus on their stresses and their problems, they are miserable. Redirecting their attention to the good they provide patients, clients and society changes the complexion of their work dramatically.
Professions characterized by chronically combative, competitive cultures value winning, power and superiority above all else. Even people who are highly successful in these cultures are rarely as happy or long lived as those who choose to devote their talents to altruism and helping others.
Goodness truly does bring its own wonderful rewards!
Copyright 2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Contact us for reprints. See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights. Michele Moore is author of How To Live A Happy Life - 101 Ways To Be Happier.
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