Happiness Blog » happiness habits

Rebellion Is Key To Happiness

Michele Moore — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 02:29:03 +0000

A spirit of revolt and rebellion is important to happiness in normal times, it is especially important during difficult times.

Revolt and rebel against giving bad things and difficult people control of your feelings.

Don’t help them hurt you.

Don’t let them get you down, upset you or steal your time and attention.

Revolt and Rebel against giving them control of your feelings.

We are truly at our best and able to perform our best when we are Up, confident, energized, enthusiastic and happy. We want to continually try to be at our best so we can perform our best.

We don’t want to let bad circumstances or difficult people distract or detract from our ability to do well.

Continually Trying To Do Your Best, Feel Your Best And Be At Your Best Is A Key Happiness Habit.

Habitually happy people don’t like to hand control of their thoughts, actions or feelings over to people or circumstances that distress, depress, distract or demoralize them. They like to remain emotionally independent and spiritually free.

They revolt and rebel against giving bad things control of their feelings. They use pleasant experiences, interactions and people to elevate their feelings but they don’t let bad thing tear them down.

If you allow some jerk to make you angry, you have given then control of your feelings. You are allowing then to steal your time, your attention and your emotional well-being.

Instead, simply say to yourself, “I am NOT giving you control of my feelings. I am NOT giving you the power to hurt me. I will deal with you at a time and place that is good for me. I am not going to allow you to distract, distress, depress or demoralize me.” This is a learned skill that gets more powerful with practice.

It’s important to emphasize this does not mean revolt and rebel against the situation itself, which may or may not be a good idea. We often have to be conciliatory and comply in order to survive and succeed. It does mean not giving bad things the power to hurt you. See Happiness In Hard Times - Revolt and Rebel for more insights.

Revolt and rebel against giving bad things and difficult people control of your feelings. Don’t let them get you down, distract, depress or upset you or steal your time and attention.

Refocus your time and attention on activities that will help you to succeed, be happy and do well.

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Bouncing Back Quickly, Powerfully

Michele Moore — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:11:35 +0000

Disasters and deep disappointments are an inevitable part of life. Here are secrets to bouncing back quickly and powerfully:

Focus on Fixes – What can you do to correct the problem, ensure it doesn’t happen again, gain from your pain, learn, grow, strengthen your skills and insights to build happiness and future success?

Don’t Beat Yourself Up, Blame, Complain or Criticize! Focusing on where you are now and what’s wrong keeps you stuck in the problem and miserable. Focusing on what you want to do differently and where you want to go in the future helps you grow and achieve it.

We don’t feel better by blaming, beating ourselves up or by focusing on problems. Beating ourselves up reinforces errors we want to avoid. It focuses time and attention on what’s wrong, not on building new skills and strategies that bring happiness and future success.

We Bounce Back by embracing our goals, our Best Selves and by focusing on what we want to achieve and do differently and then working hard to attain it.

Turn Anguish Into Achievement – Turn anger, regret and anguish into positive actions that improve the situation and help you to be happy and more effective in the future.

Worrying about problems is very different from solving or resolving problems. Regret and remorse do not bring reform. Desire and Determination To Do Things Differently Bring Positive Change.

Ask yourself, Is being upset helping me to fix the problem or to be more effective in the future? How long do I want to be upset? How miserable do I want to be and for how long?

Rebounding Rapidly: Think about how will you feel when the problem is behind you, when you have successfully rebounded. Visualize yourself successfully recovered from the problem. Feel those powerful positive feelings, embrace and project them. Practice feeling and being in rebound mode until it becomes habit.

Our Best: We are truly at our best and able to perform our best when we are UP, confident, energized, focused and happy. Don’t tear yourself down, distract or distress yourself. Don’t detract from your ability to excel and do well.

Bad things happen but they don’t have to make you miserable.

See yourself at your best, feel those powerful, confident feelings and project them. They will become genuinely yours. More Bouncing Back

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights.

Try To Have A GOOD Time ALL THE TIME

Michele Moore — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:43:19 +0000

We are at our best and able to perform our best when we are Up, energized, enthusiastic and happy.

Habitually Happy People try to have a good time all of the time. They know this is the best way to perform well.

Summoning up energy, enthusiasm and determination to complete tasks well is just as important as defining good plans.

Decide what you are going to do and find ways to make work enjoyable, rewarding and meaningful. Fuel your life and your work with fun. When you make work fun you never have to toil again.

Loving your work, taking pride in what you do and finding ways to make it fun and fulfilling makes work flow effectively and efficiently.

“Ridiculous” cry critics, “You can’t expect to have fun and a good time all of the time!”

“I can!” Habitually Happy people reply, or “I can try.” “With an attitude like that you’ll never be truly happy!”

Habitually Happy People try to get the most from every moment, they try to have a good time all of the time. Because they try to find ways to enjoy life and work, they generally do.

They don’t allow themselves to waste time in self pity or in making their own misery. “Time spent in a down mood is time wasted” one happy person commented.

“You can choose your mood and attitude,” another happy person said, “I choose to try to be happy and feel good almost all of the time.”

They creatively reinvent tasks to make them fun, challenging and rewarding. They don’t tolerate down, distressed or dismal moods for long.

You Never Feel Better By Focusing On How Badly You Feel.

Explore, Enjoy And Employ Skills And Strategies Used By Habitually Happy People And Become Happier Yourself.

Make Happiness YOUR Habit!

Can You REALLY Be Happy ALL of The Time?

Michele Moore — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:34:49 +0000

Of Course Not! All the Habitually Happy people we interviewed and studied said they experienced sadness, grief, distress, regret and various forms of mental malaise just like the rest of us.

Habitually Happy people are not immune to difficulties, they are not unfeeling, they are not unrealistically happy during devastating disasters, death or difficult times.

The all report occasional unexplained down times, dismal drearies, sadness for no reason. They generally bounce back quickly and report unexplained sadness often clears within a day.

Habitually Happy People are masters of using the power of love, positive expressions and enthusiastic feelings to buoy their spirits and to energize and encourage people around them. They know how to make the very best out of difficult circumstances.

Since they consciously try to enjoy, appreciate and have a good time all the time, they generally do. This shortens and lessens their periods of sadness.

Remember, Depression Is A Big Business. A great deal of money is made from misery, misinformation and manipulation. Beware of falling into its marketing trap.

Here are some key Happiness Habit® insights that can help:

The First Law Of Happiness: Our Focus Determines Our Feelings. Focusing our time and attention on bad things makes us feel sad, angry, worried or distressed. Shifting our attention to good things makes us feel energized, excited and enthusiastic.

Moving from problems to positive, possible solutions usually makes everyone feel much better.

Focusing On Doing Good Things Makes Us Feel Good.

Whatever We Focus Our Minds On
Expands In Our Experience.
We Never Feel Better Focusing On How Badly We Feel.

Exercising Excites Energy And Enthusiasm. Get Moving!
Action, Activity & Achievement Are Energizing, Encouraging, Empowering.

Take Positive Steps To Shake Off Sadness.

Try To Be YOUR Best All Of The Time

Michele Moore — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:03:41 +0000

To be happy, practice doing YOUR best, feeling YOUR best and being YOUR best self all of the time.

This helps you feel your best.

It illustrates The First Law of Happiness: Our Focus Determines Our Feelings.

When we focus on things we think are bad, we feel sad, angry, anxious or depressed. Shifting our attention to good things makes us feel energized, excited and enthusiastic.

Make it your goal to do YOUR best, feel YOUR best and be YOUR best all of the time.

It’s important to emphasize it’s YOUR best and not someone else’s best. How do we do this?

We all occasionally enjoy special, magical days when we are feeling, thinking and performing at our very best.

Remember those days in vivid detail. Recall how you felt, acted and thought. Describe it in clear, specific detail. People often say…

“My mind is alert, sharp, focused, I am able to concentrate very well. A relaxed powerful energy is flowing through my body. My spirit seems to soar with joy. My concentration is intense without my body feeling tense.”

Remember one of those special days, recall your thoughts and feelings. Feel the rhythm and beat of that marvelous, positive energy flowing through your body. Connect with those feelings and take them on for yourself. Project them and they will be yours.

You can’t be at your best while thinking about how badly you feel!

See yourself performing YOUR best, feeling YOUR best and thinking YOUR best. Feel those feelings, step into that zone, project those feelings and they will be genuinely yours.

You can now be at your best whenever you wish!

It’s a great way to be happy.

Don’t Beat Yourself UP!

Michele Moore — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 02:26:32 +0000

Don’t Beat Yourself UP!

You Have To Be At Your Best To Perform Your Best.

Tearing yourself down is distracting and detracts from your ability to do well. It is very counterproductive.

You’re spending all your time and attention focusing on what went wrong and burning it into memory with lots of negative energy.

No time or attention is spent identifying, learning and strengthening skills and strategies that will build future success and happiness.

Why do we do it?

When we are little, parents and authority figures punish us in order to protect us from the dangers of wrong doing.

On some level we learn the wrong lesson, that beating ourselves up is a way to improve performance so we do it to ourselves.

By focusing on where we are and what’s wrong we stay stuck. We’re rehearsing and reliving our errors .

Beating yourself up reinforces errors you want to avoid.

Remorse and Regret do not necessarily bring Reform.

By focusing on where we want to go and become, we can grow.

Channel all anger and anguish about errors and mistakes to fixing problems, identifying and practicing what you want to do differently in the future.

Avoid The Fault Finding Feel Goods

Michele Moore — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 01:12:05 +0000

The Fault Finding Feel Goods are one of the biggest barriers to happiness and spiritual success. Avoid them if you want to be happy.

What are the Fault Finding Feel Goods?

The Fault Finding Feel Goods are all those terribly tempting tendencies to criticize, blame, complain or judge to elevate ourselves and our self esteem.

The Fault Finding Feel Goods make us feel good on some level by putting other things or other people down.

The problem is that we’re focusing on negatives and that’s not the way to happiness or to spiritual success!

Since we feel good by complaining about what is wrong, we have no vested interest in trying to help improve it or change it.

This means we tend to stay stuck in our negativity and to continue wallowing in wrongs.

The Fault Finding Feel Goods take many forms… blame, complaints, judgmental criticism, ridicule and bigotry.

Have you ever met a critic who seemed really happy? Their primary source of joy is putting something or someone else down.

Recognize and Reject the Fault Finding Feel Goods if you want to be happy and spiritually successful.

Refocus your time and attention on positive, inspiring thoughts and actions that will help you to achieve, succeed and be happy.

Avoid All Unnecessary Negativity

Michele Moore — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:41:43 +0000

Huge increases in happiness come from simply deciding to avoid all unnecessary, non-productive negativity.

If the negativity is unnecessary and non-productive, resolve to avoid it.

Don’t give it your time and attention. Don’t repeatedly replay it in your mind.

Let it go. Focus on positive, productive activities and aspirations.

Sometimes you cannot physically escape. A boss, parent, loved one or authority figure may have the power to keep you there.

Listen, learn all you can but decide to be unaffected. Don’t give them the power to hurt you.

Smile, nod very nicely in bobble headed agreement while your thoughts and attention are focused on positive and productive activities far away.

Avoiding The Fault Finding Feel Goods and All UnNecessary, Non-Productive Negativity are powerful prescriptions for happiness and spiritual well being.

Savor, Enjoy & Appeciate – SEA

Michele Moore — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 00:35:25 +0000

When we are stressed and overwrought, it’s easy to loose sight of the beauty and goodness surrounding us.

Stop and spend time SEAing, Savoring, Enjoying and Appreciating simple pleasures that bring joy and happiness.

Deciding to use pleasant, enjoyable experiences to raise our spirits and refusing to let negative forces to drag us down is an important key to happiness.

Recall and relive those special times when you felt absolutely marvelous. Use those memories to brighten your mood, energize, and amplify your appreciation of the pleasant things in life.

Remember the energy and enthusiasm of an exciting day, the warmth of tender moments or the wonderful rubbery feelings of relaxation when you need to calm down.

Savor Pleasing Sensations – warm sunshine on your face, a soft breeze on your skin, the taste of a favorite tea.

Enjoy Pleasant Experiences – great music, a brisk walk, a warm shower, working hard on valued activities, a good book.

Appreciate Activities that bring joy – admiring achievements, a beautiful sunset, acts of kindness, generosity and compassion.

Whenever you notice something wonderful or beautiful, resolve to spend a few special extra moments SEAing it, Savoring, Enjoying and Appreciating its goodness to lift your spirits.

It’s a technique to elevate your mood and share beauty with the people around you.

When you SEE something wonderful, spend a few extra seconds Savoring, Enjoying & Appreciating, SEAing it too. It builds happiness.

Dealing With Dangerous, Deranged Thoughts

Michele Moore — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 15:37:07 +0000

Everyone has dangerous, deranged thoughts from time to time, even the happiest, most admirable, sane and stable people among us.

Dangerous, deranged thoughts can drive us crazy and do us great harm if we do not deal with them quickly, dramatically and effectively.

The key to happiness and spiritual success is to immediately Recognize dangerous, deranged thoughts for what they are, Rapidly Reject them and immediately Redirect our attention to positive, inspiring thoughts, actions and objectives.

Don’t give dangerous, deranged thoughts time and attention to take hold. It’s always easier to step out of a shallow dip than having to climb out of a deep hole.

The Happiness Habit “Practice Being The Person You Want To Be” is a powerful, positive protector.

When you encounter a bad, dangerous deranged thought, immediately reject it and redirect your attention to answering the question, “How would the person I want to be think and act, what would they do?”

Visualize yourself as the person you want to be, take on their perspectives and persona and “Practice Being The Person You Want To Be.” It’s that simple!

What’s a dangerous and deranged thoughts? Thoughts that are illegal, harmful or detrimental to your health and well-being.

This illustrates The Three Fundamental Truths at the foundation of the Happiness Habit:

1) The most important decision we make on a moment to moment basis is where we focus our time and attention. The sum of these decisions is our life.

2) Whatever we focus our minds upon expands in our consciousness. Whatever we give time and attention to grows in our reality.

3) Thoughts have consequences just like actions have consequences. Beware of the Consequences of Your Thoughts is just an important warning as Beware of the Consequences of Your Actions!

Try it the next time you are hit with a dangerous, deranged thought!