Posts Tagged ‘happy life’

Positive Psychology Can Be Dangerous!

Blind Smiley FacePositive Psychology is very popular in American academia today.

Positive psychologists believe we can all be happy or happier by being more positive.

They suggest we substitute more positive judgments for negative ones, spend time on Gratitude Lists and journal good things that happen in our lives.

They believe the more time we spend focusing on positives over negatives, the happier we will be.

They preach the Gospel of Learned Optimism, that we can learn to be more optimistic in our assessments of life and be happier.

The Positive Psychology Happiness Formula is:
Positive Judgments => Produce Happiness
Negative Judgments => Mean Misery
Therefore More Positive Judgments Mean More Happiness

While there is some truth to this statement (it is a variant of the First Law of Happiness – Our Focus Determines Our Feelings) they overlook a number of key points:

The first is optimism can cause us to overlook or ignore important danger signals and warning signs that help us thrive and survive. We are told we just need to be more positive, to see more benefits and fewer threats. This can be dangerous.

The Happiness Habit model is very different. Habitually Happy people assess reality very accurately and take decisive and often very creative action. Once they are confident they have made good decisions, they put the full force of positive expectations behind their plans and drive to excel and do well.

They know the dangers of excessive optimism and react accordingly.

More importantly, Habitually Happy people don’t ignore misery. They know misery has messages and meaning.

Misery Is Meant To Make Us Move

Misery is meant to make us move and take action – it is a signal something needs to change or is changing.

Misery means we need to change what we are doing, how we think, how we feel or all perhaps all three. If our world is changing, we need to change to adapt, adjust and end our misery.

Stuffing, ignoring or replacing negative signals with learned optimism is not a universal route to happiness and spiritual success.

When our heart, gut, soul and being are screaming something is wrong, it’s not wise to try to pretend everything is fine.

Examine those negative feelings, understand what they are saying and react accordingly.  Are threats real or merely effects of past conditioning, environment and experience?  Can we turn those negatives into positives?

Assess Reality Accurately. Explore and Appreciate What Negative Feelings Are Trying to Say.

Be Decisive, Make Effective Decisions.  Put The Full Force of Positive Expectations Behind All Your Plans.

Use a Drive To Excel and Do Well to Propel You to Happiness and Spiritual Success.

Try To Enjoy and Make The Most of Each and Every Moment.
Be Realistic, Not Blind.

See HappinessHabit.com for more information about happiness and spiritual success.

Copyright © 1999-      Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.

Is Happiness for Everyone?

Steve Jobs photoThe path to happiness is universal, open to everyone, everywhere.

But is making happiness our top priority right for everyone?

Should we all put happiness first in our personal, family and business lives or do other priorities weigh in as more important?  That’s for each of us to decide.

For some of us other things are more important than happiness… security, social significance, power, prominence, or perhaps creativity or making a lasting, important, indelible impact or contribution.

The world is a far richer, more delightful place because of Steve Jobs. His vision and determined dedicated leadership have changed the world.  One would not say he has taken the traditional route to happiness.

No doubt he has achieved great happiness but in different, unusual ways.

We all can’t be Steve Jobs and Steve Jobs needs the rest of us doing what we are doing for his business model to succeed.

There are many different paths to happiness, but the qualities and characteristics of a happy life remain constant.

Money, success and power take precedence over happiness for many people. Many people could easily have both if the knew how to balance the two.

Greatness in any field requires sacrifices, but it also definitely has its rewards.

We can be happy and great at what we do.  The truly great allow happiness to help propel their exuberant zeal to excel and do well.

Explore HappinessHabit.com for additional happiness resources.

Copyright © 1999-    , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.

Happiness and Greatness

Happiness and GreatnessA Drive to Do Well and Excel Are Keys to both Happiness and Greatness!

Habitually happy people want to do their best, feel their best, be their best all the time.

They also continually and creatively look for ways to make their best even better.

This is the same mindset described as the keys to Greatness by Fortune Magazine.

The article discusses recent studies of people who have excelled in their sport or profession, examining what it takes to be great.

The good news is… greatness in a skill, sport or profession does not come from natural talents or gifts. Greatness is open to any and all of us.

Greatness comes from rugged, rigorous hard work and a determined drive and desire to continually improve our skills.

The same principles hold true for happiness.  By continually and creatively finding ways to live more happily and successfully, we can grow our happiness and spiritual success.

For more insights and happiness resources see  HappinessHabit.com 

Copyright © 1999-    , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.

What is Spiritual Freedom?

utahlandscape21.jpg“The highest and greatest of the human freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

~ Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning”

The concept of Spiritual Freedom grew from Viktor Frankl’s incredible accounts of how some men triumphed emotionally and spiritually over the most horrific circumstances, Auschwitz.

“Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical distress.”

Each inmate ultimately chose whether to succumb to prison camp mentality and become a mere product of their environment and experience or to try to triumph spiritually and be something more, better and different.

“Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him – mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp.”

Frankl describes how some men went about comforting and aiding their fellow prisoners while others succumbed to the most selfish, basest motivations and desires.

Frankl illustrates a key aspect of the Happiness Habit :

“If we don’t consciously decide what sort of person we want to be and  then work to become that person, our environment and our experience determine both our identity and our destiny for us.”

Beyond the barbed wires in life, there is always a wide expanse of opportunity, spiritual freedom and emotional independence that frees us from being dominated and controlled by our circumstances.

We can decide what sort of person we want to be and work to become that person.  We can decide to practice being our best selves all of the time and and continually try to do our best, feel our best and be our best all of the time. Our best will continue to get even better.

A key to happiness and spiritual success is to always look past the barbed wire!

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights. Copyright 2007, Michele Moore.  All Rights Reserved.  ReprintsMichele Moore is author of How To Live A Happy Life – 101 Ways To Be Happier.

Happiness = Niceness

happyfocus1.jpgWe are always amazed and delighted by how truly and consistently nice genuinely happy people are. This was one of the biggest surprises from our interviews and studies of habitually happy people. Happiness and niceness invariably are linked together.

By nice, we don’t mean door mat, subservient, submissive or excessively concerned about other people’s opinions. Habitually happy people were anything but that! They all tended to be very independent, somewhat outspoken and in many ways, adventurous.

By niceness we mean genuinely caring and being concerned about other people and the people around you. Passion propels happiness. Passion without caring and consideration for others is empty and self serving. Caring for others helps create compassion.

Many thanks to the Happiness Institute for today’s posting from Eastern Progress that reminds us how niceness contributes to happiness. Helpful messages often come when we need them the most! 😉

We know people who are nice but who are not especially happy, niceness by itself does not ensure happiness. We never encountered anyone who was genuinely and consistently happy who was not nice. Sociopaths may fall into this category, their happiness is delusional.

Focusing our time and attention on doing good things well helps ensures happiness. Niceness, care and concern for others as well as ourselves is part of living well.

On a very different tone, ever wonder Why Having More No Longer Makes Us Happy? See an excellent article on the over emphasis of continued economic growth in AlterNet but be warned, it’s serious stuff! That’s why they call economics the dismal science.

See HappinessHabit.com for more insights on happy living.

Copyright 1999-      , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.