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Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

Happiness in Relationships

What makes for happy, successful lives and relationships?

Friendship, Trust and Teamwork

There is no greater gift than to help a person achieve their goals.

Good happy relationships help people achieve their goals and their dreams!

“But we’re so different!” is a frequent concern. People who work, live or spend time together happily and successfully grow together over time. We are enriched by differences and learn from them.

Key questions to ask…

Are our goals the same? Do we want to achieve the same things? Do we want to travel to the same destinations in five, ten and twenty years?
Is my life truly better with them or without them?
Are our values the same?
Are we compatible, do we enjoy spending time together?
Do I have FUN with this person? Do they make me laugh?

Do Your Homework Before Becoming Involved

Spend time building friendship, trust and teamwork. If you can’t do it early in a relationship, you probably won’t be able to do it later once your emotions are hooked.

There’s a big problem with allowing sexuality to drive relationships. A person who is inappropriate but sexually attractive draws us into situations that are not good for us. The relationship supplies sexual highs but none of the key components of a good, healthy, successful relationship.

Friendship, trust and teamwork carry relationships over long distances and through difficult times towards happiness, success and achieving our dreams.

Focus on Friendship, Trust and Teamwork for happy, spiritually successful relationships!

See Happiness Habit for more happiness resources.

Tags:happiness, happiness habit, happiness resources, happy, happy relationships, michele moore
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Detach from Unnecessary Distress and Despair

Why do we often embrace, expand and wallow in our emotional pain?

Emotional Pain Is A Powerful Distractor That Robs Us of Happiness and Spiritual Success.

Engaging In Unnecessary Pain is Masochistic. So why do we do it?

Emotional pain is a powerful source of negative energy that seizes and holds our attention. It’s nature’s way of saying we need to stop what we’re doing to take care of things.

Thinking About Bad Things, and Reliving Painful Scenarios Gives Us Powerful Jolts of Negative Energy. They Are Our Own Personal Horror Shows.

We are both energized and made miserable by this emotional pain. I’s a source of negative energy that brings misery.

Sources of energy are attractive to us… laughter, love, thrills, great music, exercise, elevating experiences, sexual attractions, triumphs and achievement. Emotional pain that gives us jolts of negative energy is also attractive, but in a misery making way.

Remembering and Reliving Misery, Reinforces Our Misery. Reliving distressing situations becomes our own personal horror shows. They gives us jolts of energy with a large negative toll.

Recognize it for what it is, a jolt of negative energy from a bad source. Ask yourself,

“Is this positive or productive?”
“Is this helping me in some way?”
“Is this the best use of my time and attention?”

If not, detach and decisively resolve to NOT to give it a moment more of your time, attention or well-being. Painful thoughts are robbing you of pleasant present opportunities for no reason.

Detach and Distract Yourself from Destructive Misery, Distress and Despair.

Resolve to Direct Your Attention to Positive, Pleasant Solutions, Opportunities and Activities.

See Happiness Habit for more happiness resources.

Tags:despair, distress, emotional pain, happiness, happiness habit, michele moore, misery, pain
Posted in Happiness Notes, Happiness Quotes | 1 Comment »

Happiness in Retirement

Many people who truly love their work never want to retire. Then time or mandatory retirement catches up with them and they have no choice.

People who dislike their work can’t wait until the magic time comes.

The question everyone faces is… Then what?

Is a life of leisure all it’s cracked up to be?

What’s the secret to a happy retirement?

If you’re retired and NOT happy, try this…

Find something that makes you mad as hell and go fix it. Or decide to fix a small part of it you can influence and improve. Find something meaningful and worthwhile to devote your life to and work at it diligently.

Find ways to make the world or part of it a better place.

Personal purpose and productivity are important keys to happiness.

A retired banking acquaintance who maintains two large homes and has traveled widely recently quipped,

“Retirement is not all it’s cracked up to be.” He’s a cynic who describes himself as “skeptical” and likes to poke fun at my happiness endeavors.

“Travel?” I asked.

“Be there, done that,” he replied. “We’ve been every where we want to go and there’s no where we want to go back.”

“Passions?” I inquired.

“I don’t have any,” he answered.

“Volunteer work?”

“Did plenty of that while I was at the bank” he answered. After he walked away I realized what he probably really needed was a challenge, something to sink his teeth into.

We spend our lives building and creating businesses and professional careers. Then we walk away thinking our lives will be better when we don’t have to do anything at all. For some it is, for many it is not.

A friend who winters in Naples, Florida comments that many senior executives retire there and then die quickly in three to five years. Their minds and spirits are invigorated by the business challenges they face. Without them, they expire.

It’s as if the universe is saying, You’ve spent your life making money, now it’s time to give back or you may die quickly.

Find a challenge you can sink your teeth into. Make the world a better place. Find something that makes you mad as hell and go fix it. It’s a great way to feel happy, productive and enjoy a long retirement.

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights and resources.

Tags:happiness, happiness habit, happy retirement, michele moore
Posted in Happiness Notes | 3 Comments »

Fight with Finesse

Defend Your Happiness – Your good mood, your spiritual freedom and your turf against people, events and things that might take them away!

http://FightwithFinesse.com explores the Fine Art of Cheerful Corporate Combat.

Continually Radiate Confident, Relaxed, Energized Well-being.

Smile As You Speak. Speak slowly, project your words powerfully and purposefully. Talk to the back of the room. Push back with positive personality. Adopt an aura of amused, attractive assertiveness.

Emphasize Positives – Benefits, advantages and rewards of your position and suggestions. Avoid personal attacks, criticism and character assassination.

Don’t Disagree, Argue or Say, “No!” State contrary positions in clear, concise, positive, compelling terms. Emphasize and expand the benefits and rewards of your position and the dangers of doing things differently.

Base Your Position on Good Goals and High Ideals EVERYONE Can Embrace and Few Can Fault.

Don’t React Emotionally – Hold on to your personal power. Reacting to an adversary’s attacks gives them control over your actions and feelings. Chart your own course, don’t give them control.

Hook Attention with Abundant Positive Energy – Agree and direct the discussion your way. Positive energy attracts attention and makes people want to listen.

Don’t Look to your Audience for Approval. Seeking approval gives adversaries power and control over your feelings.

Remember Rebellion and Revolt Fuel Happiness – Revolt and rebel against anyone and anything that tries to control you, drag you down or depress your positive spirits. Don’t give adversaries control of your thoughts or feelings.

Continually Radiate Confidence and Relaxed, Energized Well-being. Try to touch everyone you meet with a positive spirit.

For more happiness habits see HappinessHabit.com

The Fine Art of Cheerful Corporate Combat – FightWithFinesse.com

Tags:fight finesse, happiness, happiness habit, michele moore
Posted in Happiness Notes | 1 Comment »

Happiness is LOW C / C4

How much time do you spend Criticizing in relation to time you devote to creating Confidence, Competence, Credibility and Concern in the people you live or work with?

What is your C / C4 ratio?

Criticism is Very Counter Productive! Criticism focuses on what’s wrong, bad or deficient. It leaves people deflated and confused.

Hammering On Wrongs Does NOT Communicate What Is Right, good, successful or appropriate! Criticism hurts people and gives them no hint as to what they should do to improve.

Think instead about what you can do to Create the Four C’s…

Confidence – People must feel good about themselves and their abilities to succeed and perform well.

Competence – We must know what excellence is in order to achieve it.

Credibility – People must think your words and insights can help them.

Concern – We must honestly care in order to listen, absorb and apply your message. If we don’t care, your communication is lost completely.

We all need to be able to recognize and rigorously reject wrongs in order to succeed and do well. This requires no more than 10% of our time.

Focus on Rehearsing, Reinforcing and Rewarding Rights… good, upright actions, activities and responses.

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.

Tags:confidence, criticism, happiness, happiness habit, michele moore
Posted in Happiness Notes | 4 Comments »

What is Spiritual Freedom?

“The highest and greatest of the human freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

~ Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning”

The concept of Spiritual Freedom grew from Viktor Frankl’s incredible accounts of how some men triumphed emotionally and spiritually over the most horrific circumstances, Auschwitz.

“Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical distress.”

Each inmate ultimately chose whether to succumb to prison camp mentality and become a mere product of their environment and experience or to try to triumph spiritually and be something more, better and different.

“Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him – mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp.”

Frankl describes how some men went about comforting and aiding their fellow prisoners while others succumbed to the most selfish, basest motivations and desires.

Frankl illustrates a key aspect of the Happiness Habit :

“If we don’t consciously decide what sort of person we want to be and then work to become that person, our environment and our experience determine both our identity and our destiny for us.”

Beyond the barbed wires in life, there is always a wide expanse of opportunity, spiritual freedom and emotional independence that frees us from being dominated and controlled by our circumstances.

We can decide what sort of person we want to be and work to become that person. We can decide to practice being our best selves all of the time and and continually try to do our best, feel our best and be our best all of the time. Our best will continue to get even better.

A key to happiness and spiritual success is to always look past the barbed wire!

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights. Copyright 2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints. Michele Moore is author of How To Live A Happy Life – 101 Ways To Be Happier.

Tags:happiness, happiness habit, happy, happy life, michele moore, spiritual freedom
Posted in Happiness Notes, Happiness Quotes | 2 Comments »

Is Happiness Different in Britain?

The Happiness Institute in Australia reminded us how very culturally dependent measures of happiness can be.

Today they cite a study in the United Kingdom that reports hairdressers are the happiest profession.

We don’t know where hair dressing ranks in University of Chicago’s study, nor do we know where the clergy rank in happiness and job satisfaction in Great Britain.

It’s important to appreciate how very subjective and culturally dependent happiness and job satisfaction studies can be.

Are similar questions being asked in the same way to similar groups of people? Do the questions and answers mean the same things?

The United States and Great Britain are very similar in many ways, we would expect surveys of happiness and job satisfaction to be alike too.

Just as we were surprised to see tomatoes regularly served for breakfast on our first trip to Great Britain, we should expect surprises in happiness and job satisfaction rankings between countries and cultures as well.

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.

Tags:happiness, happiness habit, happy, michele moore
Posted in Happiness News | No Comments »

Happiness is Not Lotus Land

Habitually happy people consciously choose their moods and their attitudes, because they like to enjoy all life has to offer.

They don’t want to waste time in bad, unhappy, non productive moods or mental states.

They decide what they are going to do and they consciously decide to enjoy it. They manage their actions and their attitudes very effectively.

They don’t continually look outside of themselves for happiness. They create their own joy though their actions, appreciation and their achievements.

This is a very different perspective from people who continually seek happiness outside of themselves. When they can’t find it, they are often disappointed and dejected. Some retreat into a mythical sort of lotus land to find some semblance of happiness and bliss.

Enduring Happiness is not a retreat from reality but a different perspective on reality.

It’s knowing we are truly at our best when we are up and happy, so we try to be that way all of the time.
It’s knowing life is far richer and beautiful when we are appreciating all that’s around us, not judging.
Happiness definitely requires an independent, rebellious spirit that refuses to let difficulties take control of our hearts and minds. Refusal to let difficulties define our identity, feelings or our actions is a key to happiness.

Is it easier to be happy when everything around us is beautiful and life is going well? Absolutely, especially if you already embrace and practice these happiness habits.

If you don’t, no measure of good things coming into your life will ever bring you enduring happiness.

We can use difficult times to strengthen our happiness skills and our determination to triumph over distress and despair.

You decide what you want to do.

See HappinessHabit.com for more insights on how to live a happy life.

Tags:habitually happy, happiness, happy, michele moore
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Happiness = Niceness

We are always amazed and delighted by how truly and consistently nice genuinely happy people are. This was one of the biggest surprises from our interviews and studies of habitually happy people. Happiness and niceness invariably are linked together.

By nice, we don’t mean door mat, subservient, submissive or excessively concerned about other people’s opinions. Habitually happy people were anything but that! They all tended to be very independent, somewhat outspoken and in many ways, adventurous.

By niceness we mean genuinely caring and being concerned about other people and the people around you. Passion propels happiness. Passion without caring and consideration for others is empty and self serving. Caring for others helps create compassion.

Many thanks to the Happiness Institute for today’s posting from Eastern Progress that reminds us how niceness contributes to happiness. Helpful messages often come when we need them the most! 😉

We know people who are nice but who are not especially happy, niceness by itself does not ensure happiness. We never encountered anyone who was genuinely and consistently happy who was not nice. Sociopaths may fall into this category, their happiness is delusional.

Focusing our time and attention on doing good things well helps ensures happiness. Niceness, care and concern for others as well as ourselves is part of living well.

On a very different tone, ever wonder Why Having More No Longer Makes Us Happy? See an excellent article on the over emphasis of continued economic growth in AlterNet but be warned, it’s serious stuff! That’s why they call economics the dismal science.

See HappinessHabit.com for more insights on happy living.

Tags:genuinely happy, happiness, happiness habit, happy, happy life, happy livinf, michele moore, nice, niceness
Posted in Happiness Notes | 1 Comment »

CBS’s Katie Couric – Daniel Gilbert on Happiness

UPDATE

CBS removed Gilbert’s second quote* from the CNBSnews.com website after we received his angry email.

Our comments had impact!

Katie Couric’s interview today with “Stumbling on Happiness” author Daniel Gilbert shares revealing insights into how psychologists view happiness.

Here are Dr. Gilbert’s closing comments:

“This interview has, of course, been the single happiest experience of my entire adult life,” says Gilbert.

“I’d have to say that I am especially happy when my 4 year old granddaughter and I spread the tinker toys out on the living room floor and build a geebenfloober. Neither of us has any idea what a geebenfloober is, but it’s really fun to say with a mouthful of pretzels.”

Conspicuously absent were any steps people can take to live happier, more fulfilling lives, like…

Be Guided By Goodness, Fuel Your Life With Fun, Your Aim Determines Your Achievements, Avoid All Unnecessary, Non-Productive Negativity and the Fault Finding Feel Goods, Focus On How You Want To Feel, Drive Discipline With Desire, Live According To Your Aspirations Not Your Inclinations, Touch People With A Positive Spirit, Live By Only The Highest And Best Values, Be Driven By Desire Not Duress, Love Propels Happiness.

Psychotherapists have major investments in treating disease. Growing happiness does not necessarily further their goals.

*Gilbert begins by saying, “in the land of plenty, plenty of people are unhappy and want to know why.”

He seems to view unhappiness as something that is wrong, as a disease, not as a negative state that can be changed and overcome by thinking and acting in new or different ways.

Don’t look to psychologists or psychotherapists for compelling insights about happiness.

Instead, seek out genuinely happy people. Study and acquire their values, beliefs and ideals and then become happy like them.

Gilbert comments, “You should do some homework before criticizing others as a means of promoting your book.” Hmmm, did we really criticize? Or did we just quote him fairly from the interview and state the facts? We were certainly kind and supportive on the CBS website.

You decide.

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.

Tags:daniel gilbert, happiest, happiness, happy people, katie couric, michele moore
Posted in Happiness News | 4 Comments »

Happiness Blog

Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

Happiness in Relationships

Detach from Unnecessary Distress and Despair

Happiness in Retirement

Fight with Finesse

Happiness is LOW C / C4

What is Spiritual Freedom?

Is Happiness Different in Britain?

Happiness is Not Lotus Land

Happiness = Niceness

CBS’s Katie Couric – Daniel Gilbert on Happiness

RSS – Happiness Blog

The Happiness Blog

Happiness Resources

RSS – Happiness Blog

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