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May 15th, 2010Bouncing Back Quickly, Powerfully
March 4th, 2010
Disasters and deep disappointments are an inevitable part of life. Here are secrets to bouncing back quickly and powerfully:
Focus on Fixes – What can you do to correct the problem, ensure it doesn’t happen again, gain from your pain, learn, grow, strengthen your skills and insights to build happiness and future success?
Don’t Beat Yourself Up, Blame, Complain or Criticize! Focusing on where you are now and what’s wrong keeps you stuck in the problem and miserable. Focusing on what you want to do differently and where you want to go in the future helps you grow and achieve it.
We don’t feel better by blaming, beating ourselves up or by focusing on problems. Beating ourselves up reinforces errors we want to avoid. It focuses time and attention on what’s wrong, not on building new skills and strategies that bring happiness and future success.
We Bounce Back by embracing our goals, our Best Selves and by focusing on what we want to achieve and do differently and then working hard to attain it.
Turn Anguish Into Achievement – Turn anger, regret and anguish into positive actions that improve the situation and help you to be happy and more effective in the future.
Worrying about problems is very different from solving or resolving problems. Regret and remorse do not bring reform. Desire and Determination To Do Things Differently Bring Positive Change.
Ask yourself, Is being upset helping me to fix the problem or to be more effective in the future? How long do I want to be upset? How miserable do I want to be and for how long?
Rebounding Rapidly: Think about how will you feel when the problem is behind you, when you have successfully rebounded. Visualize yourself successfully recovered from the problem. Feel those powerful positive feelings, embrace and project them. Practice feeling and being in rebound mode until it becomes habit.
Our Best: We are truly at our best and able to perform our best when we are UP, confident, energized, focused and happy. Don’t tear yourself down, distract or distress yourself. Don’t detract from your ability to excel and do well.
Bad things happen but they don’t have to make you miserable.
See yourself at your best, feel those powerful, confident feelings and project them. They will become genuinely yours. More Bouncing Back
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights.
Rebounding From Resolution Remorse
January 10th, 2010
How are your New Year’s Resolutions doing? Are you happy with your progress?
Eager excitement and anticipation blaze in our New Year’s celebrations.
We are determined to make this year much better than the last which just gratefully passed.
Now, barely several weeks into the New Year, many of us feel the Gnawing Nags of Negativity signaling New Years Resolution Remorse.
We have not done and are not doing all of the things we were so enthusiastically determined to do.
The power of habits, inertia and the demands of life seem to be dragging us back into the same ruts we wanted to escape. So what do we do?
Here are a few key Happiness Habits to help you redouble your determination and desire to achieve your New Year’s goals and aspirations:
Don’t Beat Yourself Up – Criticizing and castigating yourself is damaging, demoralizing and very counterproductive. We do it because as children, adults punished us in efforts to improve our behavior, so we do it to ourselves thinking it will make us better. It doesn’t, it defeats us.
Expect Lapses and Plan for Them – Many successful personal development programs grow in fits and starts with great leaps forward alternating with relapses backwards. The key is to learn how to handle your relapses well.
Failure Is NOT Falling Down, It’s Staying Down – Giving up because you made a goof or series of goofs is a grievous condemnation and limitation on your future performance. Successful people make mistakes, they are also determined not be defeated by them.
Misery Is Meant To Make Us Move - Those Gnawing Nags of Remorse and Negativity are a powerful, helpful signs you are slipping back into patterns and behaviors you resolved to avoid. Say “Thank you Resolution Remorse, you are reminding me and reinforcing my resolve to achieve my goals.”
Redouble Your Determination, Drive and Desire – Your dreams haven’t changed, you are just disappointed in your recent actions to attain them. This doesn’t mean you can’t do it. Reinforce your resolve to work hard to achieve your goals.
Drive Discipline With Desire - Don’t view discipline as deprivation, see discipline as steps to dream realization. The secret to successful discipline is to always desire something positive more than whatever tempts you. Fire up and redouble your desire to achieve your goals.
See Small, Very Specific Steps To Success – Start small, construct your process as a series of small, very specific steps that lead to dream fulfillment. Continually celebrating successful completion of each step sets you up for a series of successes.
Lapses Mean You Have To Work Even Harder – Make up for your mistakes and work hard to catch up and stay on track.
Continually Recall And Reinforce Your Resolve – Remember and relive the feelings that lead to your resolution. Continually reinforce your desire and determination, rekindle your resolve to achieve your dream.
Happy New Year from Michele Moore and the Happiness Habit Team!
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com
Holiday Happiness In Hard Times
December 14th, 2009Holidays can be extraordinarily happy even when you are experiencing hard times. Here’s how to enjoy the holidays when you are hurting.
Be Honest About Where You Are, Decide To Be Deliberately Different – Consciously deciding to change and do things differently helps cut painful connections with the past. Different can be very delightful, deliberately deciding to do things differently can be very liberating.
Joy Has NO Price Tag – Our greatest joys don’t come from gifts of material things. The people, memories, experiences and magic moments that bring us the most joy are not tangible items. Recall sources of joy in the past and recreate them in new and different ways.
Create a Colonial Christmas – imagine what Christmas was like 250 years ago for the first settlers of our country. Create a 1760’s Christmas – simple, joyous, special. Decorate using free, natural items: pine cones, evergreen limbs, pop corn strings.
Cut simple decorative shapes from colored paper or old magazines. Enjoy candles with mirrors. Look for bonfires if you don’t have a fireplace.
Consider Exchanging Care Coupons - Create and decorate coupons for the intangible gifts your loved ones will value the most:
- This coupon is good for one hour of help with anything you ask – I promise to work hard happily, enthusiastically and energetically.
- This coupon is good for one hour of undivided, uninterrupted time together doing exactly what you want to do. I promise to give my full, undivided, sincere, enthusiastic attention and appreciation to you and whatever you decide to do.
Create a Another Country’s Non Commercial, Cultural Christmas – What Christmas would be like if you were living in a Hindu, Muslim or Buddhist country? Or in a simple village in Latin America? Mongolia? Ethiopia? Learn about other cultures, recreate one for a memorable, enjoyable holiday.
Emphasize Enjoyable Experiences – Look for experiences that bring happiness and joy in the holiday season.
End Extravagant Expectations – Money does not buy a joyful holiday.
See Stabs Of Self Pity As An SOS - Immediately redirect your time, energy and attention toward thoughts, actions, objectives and activities that will help you to build happiness and spiritual success.
Enjoy Natural Beauty – Take walks. Savor, enjoy and appreciate the beauty around you: the special smells, the fresh air on your face, the spectacular sunsets you were always too busy to watch.
Assess Reality Accurately, Don’t Get Carried Away - Don’t diminish holiday joy by over spending, over eating or over compensating for any difficulties, it’s not necessary.
Strangers Can Offer Security And Safety – Family relationships and even long standing friendships can suddenly turn toxic over the holidays. New or different people change holiday dynamics and interactions. Changing the place, time and theme of holiday celebrations can help break bad ruts.
Begin Your New Year’s Resolutions Early - Whatever they are, begin now. Eat and drink healthily. Avoid excesses, too much rich food, alcohol. Too many sweets and starches can drive you nuts. Jump start your diet, exercise or personal development programs. Exercise aggressively. Eat wisely.
Continually Sparkle, Radiate and Set A Positive, Enthusiastic Holiday Tone – Consciously deciding to continually sparkle and radiate joy raises your spirits and the spirits of the people around you. Use holidays as an excuse to smile, speak and greet strangers warmly. Extend a genuine holiday welcome to everyone you meet.
Be Adventuresome And Creative – Decide to do things you haven’t done before, or decide to do them in very different ways.
There are lots of wonderful new ways to enjoy the holidays, find them, explore and enjoy them.
Look For Free Festive Activities With New People In New Places – Volunteering to help others often comes with free food and fun holiday festivities. Find free concerts, free special holiday events and religious activities. Learn about different cultures or religious groups. Visit a friend, relative or shut in who will relish your company.
Spend time really exploring, enjoying and savoring the holiday season and holiday decorations. Do things you were always too busy to do in the past. Make this holiday wonderfully different and it won’t be deficient.
Creativity Is A Key To Happiness In Ordinary Times, It Is Especially Important In Hard Times. Find Creative New Ways To Enjoy Your Holiday And Bring Joy To Others!
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com
Self Pity Stabs Happiness
December 13th, 2009
Stabs of self pity strike suddenly from time to time.
All we see are the wrongs, the inequities and the dreadful damage our difficulties have caused us.
A overwhelming surge of painful, debilitating self pity begins to set in.
Don’t let self pity overwhelm or over power you.
Stop Self Pity Before It Grows And Deepens
Don’t give those negative, debilitating thoughts and feelings any time and attention, all they will do is bring you down. They are non productive, unnecessary and dangerous. Self pity sabotages happiness and brings dreadful, dismal, downward spirals of despair.
Revolt and Rebel Against Self Pity
Refuse To Give Those Painful Thoughts Your Time And Attention
Self Pity SOS - Let self pity’s first twinges serve as an SOS to immediately redirect your thoughts, actions, energy and attention toward positive goals, activities and objectives that will help you to be happy and spiritually successful.
Don’t Let Self Pity Down Your Spirits
Don’t Give Self Pity Your Time or Attention
Negative judgments power all fear, emotional pain, anxiety and despair. Self pity is a super charged negative judgment.
The normal response is to ask, can these negative judgments help me in some way? If the answer is YES, turn the negative judgments into a series of positive action items and constructive steps that build happiness and spiritual success.
“I’m going to be late!” is an anxiety producing negative judgment that can help you if you turn it into a series of positive actions items: I will stop what I am doing, watch the clock carefully, collect my things and get ready to walk out the door at least three minutes early.
If the answer is NO, discard the negative judgments and refocus your time and attention on activities that will help you achieve your goals, be happy and spiritually successful. The negative judgments are making you miserable for no reason.
Stabs of self pity signal an immediate jump to this NO response. Self pity rarely contains any positive action items that can help you to triumph and be happy. Feeling sorry for yourself is debilitating, dismal and no fun. Stop it before it grows and deepens.
When Stabs Of Self Pity Strike, Immediate Redirect Your Thoughts And Attention Toward Positive, Exciting, Encouraging Thoughts, Actions And Activities That Will Help You Succeed And Be Happy.
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com
Rebellion Is Key To Happiness
November 26th, 2009
A spirit of revolt and rebellion is important to happiness in normal times, it is especially important during difficult times.
Revolt and rebel against giving bad things and difficult people control of your feelings.
Don’t help them hurt you.
Don’t let them get you down, upset you or steal your time and attention.
Revolt and Rebel against giving them control of your feelings.
We are truly at our best and able to perform our best when we are Up, confident, energized, enthusiastic and happy. We want to continually try to be at our best so we can perform our best.
We don’t want to let bad circumstances or difficult people distract or detract from our ability to do well.
Continually Trying To Do Your Best, Feel Your Best And Be At Your Best Is A Key Happiness Habit.
Habitually happy people don’t like to hand control of their thoughts, actions or feelings over to people or circumstances that distress, depress, distract or demoralize them. They like to remain emotionally independent and spiritually free.
They revolt and rebel against giving bad things control of their feelings. They use pleasant experiences, interactions and people to elevate their feelings but they don’t let bad thing tear them down.
If you allow some jerk to make you angry, you have given then control of your feelings. You are allowing then to steal your time, your attention and your emotional well-being.
Instead, simply say to yourself, “I am NOT giving you control of my feelings. I am NOT giving you the power to hurt me. I will deal with you at a time and place that is good for me. I am not going to allow you to distract, distress, depress or demoralize me.” This is a learned skill that gets more powerful with practice.
It’s important to emphasize this does not mean revolt and rebel against the situation itself, which may or may not be a good idea. We often have to be conciliatory and comply in order to survive and succeed. It does mean not giving bad things the power to hurt you. See Happiness In Hard Times - Revolt and Rebel for more insights.
Revolt and rebel against giving bad things and difficult people control of your feelings. Don’t let them get you down, distract, depress or upset you or steal your time and attention.
Refocus your time and attention on activities that will help you to succeed, be happy and do well.
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com
Bouncing Back Quickly, Powerfully
October 16th, 2009
Disasters and deep disappointments are an inevitable part of life. Here are secrets to bouncing back quickly and powerfully:
Focus on Fixes – What can you do to correct the problem, ensure it doesn’t happen again, gain from your pain, learn, grow, strengthen your skills and insights to build happiness and future success?
Don’t Beat Yourself Up, Blame, Complain or Criticize! Focusing on where you are now and what’s wrong keeps you stuck in the problem and miserable. Focusing on what you want to do differently and where you want to go in the future helps you grow and achieve it.
We don’t feel better by blaming, beating ourselves up or by focusing on problems. Beating ourselves up reinforces errors we want to avoid. It focuses time and attention on what’s wrong, not on building new skills and strategies that bring happiness and future success.
We Bounce Back by embracing our goals, our Best Selves and by focusing on what we want to achieve and do differently and then working hard to attain it.
Turn Anguish Into Achievement – Turn anger, regret and anguish into positive actions that improve the situation and help you to be happy and more effective in the future.
Worrying about problems is very different from solving or resolving problems. Regret and remorse do not bring reform. Desire and Determination To Do Things Differently Bring Positive Change.
Ask yourself, Is being upset helping me to fix the problem or to be more effective in the future? How long do I want to be upset? How miserable do I want to be and for how long?
Rebounding Rapidly: Think about how will you feel when the problem is behind you, when you have successfully rebounded. Visualize yourself successfully recovered from the problem. Feel those powerful positive feelings, embrace and project them. Practice feeling and being in rebound mode until it becomes habit.
Our Best: We are truly at our best and able to perform our best when we are UP, confident, energized, focused and happy. Don’t tear yourself down, distract or distress yourself. Don’t detract from your ability to excel and do well.
Bad things happen but they don’t have to make you miserable.
See yourself at your best, feel those powerful, confident feelings and project them. They will become genuinely yours. More Bouncing Back
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights.
Feeling Overwhelmed?
October 14th, 2009
When you are feeling overwhelmed and over powered by all the things you have to do, how do you stay sane, focused, balanced, confident, effective and happy?
Break important tasks down into small, very specific steps or sections that are easy to visualize and achieve within a short, definite period of time.
Work as hard as you can, complete that step. Stop and celebrate success.
Assess your progress in terms of your larger goal and the time you have to attain it.
Decide what to do next and how long you will spend on it.
Work as hard as you can, complete the step, stop, celebrate success, assess your progress and plan your next step.
Great achievements are built through a series of very small, specific, successful steps.
If you still feel overwhelmed, break the step down into even smaller, shorter, easy to visualize and achieve steps or actions.
Working Hard Is Energizing And Empowering. Incite A Delight And Drive To Get Things Done. Urgency creates energy, determination, drive, decisiveness and focus. See work as an exciting series of successful achievements, not a dreadful burden.
If You Can’t Face Getting Up And Moving - Take a couple of long, slow deep breaths. With each deep breath, feel energy coming into your body and radiating outward with each exhale. Smile confidently. Swing your legs around, take another deep, energizing breath, stand up confidently and smile.
Ask yourself, What Are You Going To Explore, Enjoy & Experience? What Are You Going To Appreciate & Achieve? What Are You Going To Accomplish So You Feel Good At The End Of The Day?
Priorities Are Key. Identify What Is Truly Most Important And Work On That Task. Don’t get distracted by busy work that allows you to avoid addressing important goals.
Planning Previews Success – Think carefully about what you want to achieve and the time and resources you have to accomplish it. Planning is a preview of your success. Make Planning Previews Part Of Your Process.
Avoid The Fault Finding Feel Goods, Turn Negative Judgments Into Positive Actions and Avoid All UnNecessary, NonProductive Negativity.
You will be amazed how much better and more confident you feel.
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights.
Try To Have A GOOD Time ALL THE TIME
September 9th, 2009
We are at our best and able to perform our best when we are Up, energized, enthusiastic and happy.
Habitually Happy People try to have a good time all of the time. They know this is the best way to perform well.
Summoning up energy, enthusiasm and determination to complete tasks well is just as important as defining good plans.
Decide what you are going to do and find ways to make work enjoyable, rewarding and meaningful. Fuel your life and your work with fun. When you make work fun you never have to toil again.
Loving your work, taking pride in what you do and finding ways to make it fun and fulfilling makes work flow effectively and efficiently.
“Ridiculous” cry critics, “You can’t expect to have fun and a good time all of the time!”
“I can!” Habitually Happy people reply, or “I can try.” “With an attitude like that you’ll never be truly happy!”
Habitually Happy People try to get the most from every moment, they try to have a good time all of the time. Because they try to find ways to enjoy life and work, they generally do.
They don’t allow themselves to waste time in self pity or in making their own misery. “Time spent in a down mood is time wasted” one happy person commented.
“You can choose your mood and attitude,” another happy person said, “I choose to try to be happy and feel good almost all of the time.”
They creatively reinvent tasks to make them fun, challenging and rewarding. They don’t tolerate down, distressed or dismal moods for long.
You Never Feel Better By Focusing On How Badly You Feel.
Explore, Enjoy And Employ Skills And Strategies Used By Habitually Happy People And Become Happier Yourself.
Make Happiness YOUR Habit!
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights.
Can You REALLY Be Happy ALL of The Time?
September 9th, 2009
Of Course Not! All the Habitually Happy people we interviewed and studied said they experienced sadness, grief, distress, regret and various forms of mental malaise just like the rest of us.
Habitually Happy people are not immune to difficulties, they are not unfeeling, they are not unrealistically happy during devastating disasters, death or difficult times.
The all report occasional unexplained down times, dismal drearies, sadness for no reason. They generally bounce back quickly and report unexplained sadness often clears within a day.
Habitually Happy People are masters of using the power of love, positive expressions and enthusiastic feelings to buoy their spirits and to energize and encourage people around them. They know how to make the very best out of difficult circumstances.
Since they consciously try to enjoy, appreciate and have a good time all the time, they generally do. This shortens and lessens their periods of sadness.
Remember, Depression Is A Big Business. A great deal of money is made from misery, misinformation and manipulation. Beware of falling into its marketing trap.
Here are some key Happiness Habit® insights that can help:
The First Law Of Happiness: Our Focus Determines Our Feelings. Focusing our time and attention on bad things makes us feel sad, angry, worried or distressed. Shifting our attention to good things makes us feel energized, excited and enthusiastic.
Moving from problems to positive, possible solutions usually makes everyone feel much better.
Focusing On Doing Good Things Makes Us Feel Good.
Whatever We Focus Our Minds On
Expands In Our Experience.
We Never Feel Better Focusing On How Badly We Feel.
Exercising Excites Energy And Enthusiasm. Get Moving!
Action, Activity & Achievement Are Energizing, Encouraging, Empowering.
Take Positive Steps To Shake Off Sadness.
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights.
