Archive for March, 2007

Happiness is Not Lotus Land

happylily.jpgHabitually happy people consciously choose their moods and their attitudes, because they like to enjoy all life has to offer.

They don’t want to waste time in bad, unhappy, non productive moods or mental states.

They decide what they are going to do and they consciously decide to enjoy it. They manage their actions and their attitudes very effectively.

They don’t continually look outside of themselves for happiness. They create their own joy though their actions, appreciation and their achievements.

This is a very different perspective from people who continually seek happiness outside of themselves. When they can’t find it, they are often disappointed and dejected. Some retreat into a mythical sort of lotus land to find some semblance of happiness and bliss.

Enduring Happiness is not a retreat from reality but a different perspective on reality.

  • It’s knowing we are truly at our best when we are up and happy, so we try to be that way all of the time.
  • It’s knowing life is far richer and beautiful when we are appreciating all that’s around us, not judging.
  • Happiness definitely requires an independent, rebellious spirit that refuses to let difficulties take control of our hearts and minds. Refusal to let difficulties define our identity, feelings or our actions is a key to happiness.

Is it easier to be happy when everything around us is beautiful and life is going well? Absolutely, especially if you already embrace and practice these happiness habits.

If you don’t, no measure of good things coming into your life will ever bring you enduring happiness.

We can use difficult times to strengthen our happiness skills and our determination to triumph over distress and despair.

You decide what you want to do.

See HappinessHabit.com for more insights on how to live a happy life.

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.

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Happiness = Niceness

happyfocus1.jpgWe are always amazed and delighted by how truly and consistently nice genuinely happy people are. This was one of the biggest surprises from our interviews and studies of habitually happy people. Happiness and niceness invariably are linked together.

By nice, we don’t mean door mat, subservient, submissive or excessively concerned about other people’s opinions. Habitually happy people were anything but that! They all tended to be very independent, somewhat outspoken and in many ways, adventurous.

By niceness we mean genuinely caring and being concerned about other people and the people around you. Passion propels happiness. Passion without caring and consideration for others is empty and self serving. Caring for others helps create compassion.

Many thanks to the Happiness Institute for today’s posting from Eastern Progress that reminds us how niceness contributes to happiness. Helpful messages often come when we need them the most! 😉

We know people who are nice but who are not especially happy, niceness by itself does not ensure happiness. We never encountered anyone who was genuinely and consistently happy who was not nice. Sociopaths may fall into this category, their happiness is delusional.

Focusing our time and attention on doing good things well helps ensures happiness. Niceness, care and concern for others as well as ourselves is part of living well.

On a very different tone, ever wonder Why Having More No Longer Makes Us Happy? See an excellent article on the over emphasis of continued economic growth in AlterNet but be warned, it’s serious stuff! That’s why they call economics the dismal science.

See HappinessHabit.com for more insights on happy living.

Copyright 1999-      , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.

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CBS’s Katie Couric – Daniel Gilbert on Happiness

happykatiecouric3.jpgUPDATE

CBS removed Gilbert’s second quote* from the CNBSnews.com website after we received his angry email.

Our comments had impact!

Katie Couric’s interview today with “Stumbling on Happiness” author Daniel Gilbert shares revealing insights into how psychologists view happiness.

Here are Dr. Gilbert’s closing comments:

“This interview has, of course, been the single happiest experience of my entire adult life,” says Gilbert.

“I’d have to say that I am especially happy when my 4 year old granddaughter and I spread the tinker toys out on the living room floor and build a geebenfloober. Neither of us has any idea what a geebenfloober is, but it’s really fun to say with a mouthful of pretzels.”

Conspicuously absent were any steps people can take to live happier, more fulfilling lives, like…

Be Guided By Goodness, Fuel Your Life With Fun, Your Aim Determines Your Achievements, Avoid All Unnecessary, Non-Productive Negativity and the Fault Finding Feel Goods, Focus On How You Want To Feel, Drive Discipline With Desire, Live According To Your Aspirations Not Your Inclinations, Touch People With A Positive Spirit, Live By Only The Highest And Best Values, Be Driven By Desire Not Duress, Love Propels Happiness.

Psychotherapists have major investments in treating disease. Growing happiness does not necessarily further their goals.

*Gilbert begins by saying, “in the land of plenty, plenty of people are unhappy and want to know why.”

He seems to view unhappiness as something that is wrong, as a disease, not as a negative state that can be changed and overcome by thinking and acting in new or different ways.

Don’t look to psychologists or psychotherapists for compelling insights about happiness.

Instead, seek out genuinely happy people. Study and acquire their values, beliefs and ideals and then become happy like them.

Gilbert comments, “You should do some homework before criticizing others as a means of promoting your book.” Hmmm, did we really criticize? Or did we just quote him fairly from the interview and state the facts? We were certainly kind and supportive on the CBS website.

You decide.

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.

Copyright 1999-   , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved.  Reprints.

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The Pope’s Happiness & Fat?!!!

happyangel12.jpgAre God and Jesus Christ are the only true sources of happiness?

“Sometimes, the person who has everything he could desire is still not happy; meanwhile someone deprived of everything, even freedom or health, can be joyful and peaceful, if God is within his heart. ”
~ Pope Benedict XVI

We both agree and disagree!

Certainly many church teachings are central and crucial to living a happy, spiritually successful life. Compassion, goodness, honesty, virtue and truth are the basis of a happy life.

We also know many very religious people who are not especially happy. Some of the most horrendous crimes in history were committed with a false sense of religious righteousness.

Some of the happiness people in the world are Buddhists who do not have a concept of God that is central to our Judaeo Christian creed. Buddhists do have compelling teachings about compassion, care and concern for others that are central to their beliefs.

It is these values, we believe, that bring Buddhists happiness. The ancient Greeks agreed, “A man who is not virtuous will never be happy.” ~ Epicurus

Herb Benham jokes about a recent study in the Archives of Internal Medicine reporting that fat men are less likely to commit suicide than thin men!? One wonders if worry is keeping people thin and unhappy.

Taking pride in feeling good and looking good is important source of happiness! We don’t believe habitually over eating is a healthy, enduring source of joy.

What do you think? Post your comments below!

See HappinessHabit.com for more resources.

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved.  Reprints.

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Happiness Without Pursuit

happystpetersburg1.jpgShould Happiness Be Pursued? Or does happiness flow best and naturally just from a life well lived?

See Happiness Without Pursuit
Mark Teeter 3/17/07 St. Petersburg Times

One of my grandfathers pursued happiness and the other did not. The first tried a dozen disparate jobs but found only modest success and fleeting satisfaction.

The non-pursuer — a rare combination of journalist, historian and Methodist minister — did all three for their own sake and that of others, and did them very well. When he died, Time magazine titled his obituary “A Happy Man.”

It’s a wonderful article and analysis of happiness in Russia!

See HappinessHabit.com for more insights about how to live a happy life.

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.

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Happiness from all Corners of the World

India is studying happiness in an effort to bring happiness studies into schools. Certainly being absorbed in productive, creative activities can be very rewarding.Happy Taj India

A wonderful article from Thailand Times linking flow states to happiness disappeared from their site.   Creative flow states as described by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi are often linked to happiness.We don’t disagree that creative flow states can be a source of happiness. It is easy to get lost in the flow> and loose site of  what you have to do and what you really want to achieve.

We found habitually happy people were generally very time conscious, they tended to schedule their time not their tasks. Time was generally their limiting resource.

Being concerned about time protected them from getting lost in the flow and loosing site of what they really want to achieve.

The Mercury News reports Clairmont College in California is initiating a doctoral program in Happiness. They will research “What makes people happy?”

We wonder, why not ask, “How can people make themselves happy?” Isn’t our goal to be happy and find ways to live a happier, more spiritually successful life?

We agree with Will Wilkinson’s Happiness & Public Policy Blog about happiness research. Today’s posting is, as always, very sophisticated and complete. He refers to research on aging and happiness, which was also recently reported in Slate.

Science Blogs reported research on the decline in happiness during the 20th Century. Reading it did not make me happy!

See HappinessHabit.com for more information.

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore.  All Rights Reserved.  Reprints.

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Happiness Blog Expanding!

happyspread.jpgHappiness Blog is moving, expanding and will include current happiness articles of interest.
See HappinessHabit.com for a listing of Happiness Habits.

We’ll continue to respond to reader’s comments and what we read, like this for example:

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.” was posted by the Happiness Institute today…
“A negative judgment is the force behind all fears, anxieties and worries!”

Why say any day “May not be good?” When you start off that way, your negative projections can become a self fulfilling prophecy! Why not say, “How can I make the best of this day and every day?”

The International Herald Tribune writes Darrin McMahon author of “Happiness: A History” still has problems defining Happiness, so does Hootiepalooza who writes.. Wikipedia defines happiness As an effective state?!!!

Why not try our Happiness Habit definition… ”
A happy life is generally…
Pleasant & Pleasing,
Purposeful & Productive,
Prosperous & Spiritually Successful!”

“Happiness is the energized, elevated emotion we experience when we enjoy, appreciate or achieve a worthwhile goal.”

Deciding what happiness means to us helps us decide what steps we can take to attain it. For more insights see our Happiness Habit resources.

Tell us if you like our new approach. It may be a bit redundant at times, but repeating key concepts helps them to be reinforced and retained. That’s the way to build happiness!

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness resources.

Copyright 2007,  Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.

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Happiness Numerator & Demoninator

denominator.jpgDoug Manning shares a wonderful insight into happiness in his posting today titled Denominator of Happiness at ProactiveLiving.BlogSpot.com –

He says developing your Denominator is the key to happiness…

“The denominator is the real secret to developing an enduring sense of happiness and fulfillment. You focus on defining and developing your whole self. What are your interests? What do you value? What are your passions? What is your unique style? Where in the world can you be who you are?”

“These are the questions that give shape to defining a quality life. In the denominator world, quality is better than quantity, every denominator is unique, and the quickest way to get everything you want is to want exactly what you have.”

What a great approach! So much depends upon perceptions. People with much materially can still feel poor, especially if they are over extended financially. Other people who seem to have comparatively little can feel very rich and appreciative of all they do have.

We found the biggest barrier to happiness is the Fault Finding Feel Goods, all those terribly temping tendencies to judge, criticize and blame. A great happiness habit is to avoid all unnecessary, non-productive negativity. If the negativity doesn’t help you or protect you in some way, reject it.

If the negativity does actually help you, turn it into a series of positive action items to help you build your happiness and success. Hope this helps!

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.

Copyright 1999-    ,  Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.

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Happiness Choices Show Who We Are

happysunflwr.jpg“It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
~ J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series

How true this is with happiness and all other facets of our lives!

Our choices reveal our beliefs, ideals and our values.

The world evaluates us by what we value.

Truly happy people are guided by goodness, love, caring and compassion. They continually focus on doing their best and being their best. Love propels their work, their lives and their happiness.

They live by the highest and best values and beliefs. Their minds and lives are founded and grounded in honesty, virtue, goodness and truth. The universe respects, admires and rewards people who try to do good things well.

People who prefer greed and malicious manipulation over integrity, compassion and goodness are only happy when they beat somebody. When they don’t win they are miserable. They must feel superior to feel good about themselves. This is the path to emptiness, material gains on occasion, but still an unhappy, meaningless life.

Love propels happiness. Wherever love and goodness are limited or lacking there is no happiness. Look around and see if the wicked appear truly happy to you. Most are very shallow, weak, empty and insecure.

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness wisdom.

Copyright©1999-    ,  Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved.   Reprints.

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Happiness & Mastering the Art of Living

Kouroshd0A Master in the Art of Living
Draws no sharp distinction
between work and play
labor and leisure
mind and body
education and recreation.
They hardly know
which is which.

A Master simply pursues
a vision of Excellence
in everything they do
and leaves others to determine
if it is work or play.

To the Master
it always seems
to be a bit of both.

James A Mitchener (Adapted)

See HappinessHabit.com for more insights on happy living.

Copyright© 1999-      ,  Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints. Michele Moore is author of How To Live A Happy Life – 101 Ways To Be Happier.

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Scientists Can’t Define Happiness!

happybeaker.jpgDo you feel frustrated by reading about recent Happiness Research at major universities?

Are you looking for ways to be happier and find this research offers no clues as to what to do? You are not alone, we all face the same quandary. Here’s why…

Academic / scientific research usually involves qualities that are measurable and verifiable so the studies can be repeated with the same results. That’s why we have all the emphasis on measuring subjective happiness, relative indexes and comparative results.

Researchers must rely on qualities that can be measured so their studies can be repeated and yield similar results so they can be considered valid.

Measuring happiness does not describe how to attain it! They are two very different goals, processes and functions.

Many philosophers, psychiatrists and great thinkers throughout time have written that comparisons and analysis of Happiness actually defeats happiness. We agree. Why stop being happy to try to measure our happiness? What difference do these measurements make? Do they help you to be happier?

Once you measure relative happiness, what good does it do you?

If we want to be happy or happier, we need to focus on developing the skills, habits and strategies that lead to happy lives. There are simple, universal, eternal truths to living a happy, spiritually successful life. If we practice them we will be happier.

See HappinessHabit.com for more Happiness Habits!

Copyright 1999-    , Michele Moore All Rights Reserved.  Reprints.

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Happy People Define Themselves

happysand2.jpgHabitually happy people have a clear idea of the sort of person they want to be and become.  They want to define how they go through life and they choose their moods and attitudes very carefully. They refuse to let bad things get them down for long. A spirit of revolt and rebellion helps fuel their happiness.

“Life is too short, we need to try to enjoy every minute of it as best we can,” one commented.

Certainly, dramatically changing life circumstances can alter your long term happiness if you allow it. See today’s posting from Michigan State

Habitually happy people seem to creatively find ways to enjoy life no matter what happens to them. They don’t let bad breaks define a bad mood for long. They find ways of triumphing over difficulties spiritually and emotionally.

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.

Copyright 1999-    , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.

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NBC’s Happiness, Health & Prozac

happypill.jpgYes, happy people are healthier too! Tonight NBC featured studies showing that happy people are more resistant to cold and flu viruses and lead longer lives than their less happy counterparts.

Ten Years Longer Life..

A well known study of Catholic nuns revealed that nuns who consistently wrote positive journals lived up to 10 years longer than those whose journals tended toward negative.

“If we hope, we cope. If we don’t, we mope,” one charmingly energetic 96 year old nun commented on screen. What’s the reason?

Happiness is a protector against stress.

Stress stimulates the release of cortisol, a hormone correlated with higher risks of heart disease.

Happiness counters stress, when we’re happy, we’re less stressed.

A related feature reported that more than 11 million prescriptions are written annually for anti depressant medications like Prozac and Zolof in the United States. If we chemically treat erectile dysfunction and baldness, why not bad moods?

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.

Copyright 1999 –    , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.

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NBC’s Pursuit of Happiness – Monday

Fans of the Happiness Habit are talking about What NBC Didn’t Say About Happiness watch the video and read the articles.Happy NBC logo

They didn’t mention any of the enduring, universal time tested truths for living a happy, spiritually successful life…

Be Guided By Goodness, Fuel Your Life With Fun, Your Aim Determines Your Achievements, Avoid The Fault Finding Feel Goods, Focus On How You Want To Feel, Drive Discipline With Desire, Live According To Your Aspirations Not Your Inclinations, Touch People With A Positive Spirit, Live By Only The Highest And Best Values, Be Driven By Desire Not Duress, Love Propels Happiness!

NBC focused exclusively on external environmental factors that bring happiness citing positive relationships, work place appreciation and Laughter Classes. What do you do if you don’t have these things?

They close by saying, “the key is finding things that make you happy and keep you that way!” This means you are supposed to search for external things rather than build internal skills to be happy. Great for an advertiser based business!

Fans of the Happiness Habit know why Get Going With A Giggle is so helpful. Laugher loosens tight tummy muscles, helps you breathe easily from the bottom of your belly and stimulates serotonin, the brain’s natural happiness hormone.

NBC’s Happiness Test titled “Are You Satisfied With Your Life?” asks viewers to judge how ideal their lives are. Judgment generally quells happiness.

If you’re not satisfied, what do you do? Why not offer suggestions and insights that help people be happier?

In my city NBC’s Happiness segment was sandwiched between Fosamax and Aleve commercials. Drug companies are big network advertisers. The happiness experts shown come from Psychology departments at major universities that are dedicated to treating disease.

Is there any wonder NBC didn’t share any of the true, simple secrets to happiness?

The Happiness Habit pages in HappinenssHabit.com describe how to live a happy, spiritually successful life. Virtue is the basis for all happiness. Make Happiness YOUR Habit!

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.

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