Criticism And Control Occur So Frequently Together They Are Practically Synonymous.
Criticism Is Almost Always A Power Play.
People criticize to try to assert their superiority, power and to gain control of people, situations and interactions.
Critics assert control by planting doubts and disparaging or damaging ideas in people’s minds. They may or may not be factually correct or beneficial.
Criticism Is Corrosive.
Criticism leaves people deflated, demoralized, confused and uncertain about what they should do. That’s often the critic’s intent. Critics like to leave people feeling badly and powerless, that’s how they exert power and control.
If you can get a person to doubt themselves, their ideas or their abilities, it’s easier to control them, dominate them or at least get them to defer to your desires.
Doubt is often all you need to dominate and dissuade others from differing with you.
Criticism Is Counterproductive.
Criticism focuses on what’s bad, wrong or unattractive.
Calling something is bad does not describe what is good. Saying something is wrong does not express what is right or desirable. Describing what you don’t want does not not communicate what you do want.
Criticism only helps to the extent it expresses what to avoid. Criticism does NOT present clear descriptions of successful solutions, strategies or what you can do to improve.
Criticism Is Often A Deliberate Distraction – Critics criticize to derail other people’s success. Deflecting or dealing with criticism takes time, energy, attention and resources from positive, important activities. It’s easy to find yourself worrying about what critics say is wrong rather than focusing on what is truly important to you.
Focus On What You Want To Achieve, Articulate Benefits.
Habitually Happy people focus on what they want to achieve. They can describe why it is desirable, beneficial or attractive. Clear goals help define the steps to attain them.
They spend just enough time with wrongs so they can rapidly recognize and reject bad things. They then redirect their attention, energy and enthusiasm to positive activities that help them build happiness and spiritual success.
Focusing on why they are working and striving for their goals reinforces their desire and drive to achieve them.
Recognize Criticism for What It Usually Is – A Corrosive, Counterproductive Power Play.
Treat criticism like any other Negative Judgment: Ask can it help me in some way? If YES, turn those negative judgments into positive action items. If NO, don’t give critics your time, attention or concern.
Focus On What You Want To Achieve.
Enjoy Your Progress And Eventual Success.
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com