Don’t Beat Yourself UP!
You Have To Be At Your Best To Perform Your Best.
Tearing Yourself Down Is Distracting, It Destroys Your Confidence And Detracts From Your Ability To Do Well.
Beating Yourself Up is very counterproductive.
You’re spending all your time, energy and attention focusing on what went wrong and how terrible it is and then you are burning it into your memory with lots of negative energy.
No time or attention is spent on identifying, learning and strengthening skills and strategies that will help you avoid the error in the future and build success and happiness.
Why do we Beat Ourselves Up?
When we were little, parents and authority figures may have punished us to protect us from the dangers of wrongdoing.
If we ran into a busy street without looking, we may have received a spank on the rump to discourage us from doing it again.
Punishment Causes Pain And Pain Prompts Avoidance.
What we really need to learn is to recognize there is danger, stop, look carefully both ways before we cross a busy street. Beating yourself up doesn’t teach the skills we need to survive and be safe and successful in the future.
On some level we also may have learned the wrong lesson, that beating ourselves up is the way to improve our performance and make ourselves better – so we do it to ourselves.
By focusing on where we are and what’s we did wrong we stay stuck. We reinforce our errors by rehearsing and reliving them in our minds
Beating Yourself Up Reinforces Errors You Want To Avoid.
Remorse and Regret do not necessarily bring Reform.
By focusing on where we want to go and what we want to do differently in the future, we grow.
Channel Anger And Anguish Over Errors And Mistakes Toward Fixing Problems And Identifying And Practicing Skills That Will Make You Successful And Happy In The Future.
Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com for more happiness quotes and insights.