2009 « Happiness Blog

Archive for 2009

Avoid All Unnecessary Negativity

NoNegativity Huge increases in happiness come from simply deciding to avoid all unnecessary, non-productive negativity.

If the negativity is unnecessary and non-productive, resolve to avoid it.

Don’t give it your time and attention. Don’t repeatedly replay it in your mind.

Let it go. Focus on positive, productive activities and aspirations.

Sometimes you cannot physically escape. A boss, parent, loved one or authority figure may have the power to keep you there.

Listen, learn all you can but decide to be unaffected. Don’t give them the power to hurt you.

Smile, nod very nicely in bobble headed agreement while your thoughts and attention are focused on positive and productive activities far away.

Avoiding The Fault Finding Feel Goods and All UnNecessary, Non-Productive Negativity are powerful prescriptions for happiness and spiritual well being.

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Links to our website and pages are welcomed! Please note our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights

Tags:happiness habits, happiness secrets, happy life, happy people, michele moore
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Savor, Enjoy & Appeciate – SEA

When we are stressed and overwrought, it’s easy to loose sight of all the beauty and goodness that continually surrounds us.

Stop and spend time SEAing, Savoring, Enjoying and Appreciating simple pleasures that bring joy and happiness.

Deciding to use pleasant, enjoyable experiences to raise your spirits and refusing to let negative forces to drag you down is an important key to happiness.

OceanWavesHBlog Savor Pleasing Sensations – warm sunshine on your face, a soft breeze on your skin, the taste of a favorite tea.

Enjoy Pleasant Experiences – great music, a brisk walk, a warm shower, working hard on valued activities, a good book.

Appreciate Activities that bring joy – admiring achievements, a beautiful sunset, acts of kindness, generosity and compassion.

Whenever you notice something wonderful or beautiful, resolve to spend a few special extra moments SEAing it too, Savoring, Enjoying and Appreciating its goodness to lift your spirits.

It’s a technique that elevates your mood and super charges your well-being whenever you need it.

Nothing around to Savor, Enjoy or Appreciate?

Recall and relive those special times when you felt absolutely marvelous. Use those memories to brighten your mood, energize, and expand your appreciation of the pleasant things in life.

Remember the energy and enthusiasm of an exciting day, the warmth of tender moments or the wonderful rubbery feelings of relaxation when you need to calm down.

Use pleasant experience in the present and in memories to brighten your mood whenever you wish.

When you SEE something wonderful, spend a few extra seconds Savoring, Enjoying & Appreciating, SEAing it too. It builds happiness.

Tags:happiness habits, happiness secrets, happy life, happy people, michele moore
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Dealing With Dangerous, Deranged Thoughts

angrymonkey Everyone has dangerous, deranged thoughts from time to time, even the happiest, most admirable, sane and stable people among us.

Dangerous, deranged thoughts can drive us crazy and do us great harm if we do not deal with them quickly, dramatically and effectively.

The Key to Happiness and Spiritual Success Is to Immediately RECOGNIZE Dangerous, Deranged Thoughts for What They Really Are, RAPIDLY REJECT Them and Immediately REDIRECT ATTENTION To Positive Thoughts, Actions and Objectives.

Don’t give dangerous, deranged thoughts time and attention to take hold. It’s always easier to step out of a shallow spot than having to climb out of a deep hole.

The Happiness Habit “Practice Being The Person You Want To Be” Is a Powerful, Positive Protector.

When you encounter bad, dangerous deranged thinking, immediately reject it and redirect your attention to answering the question, “How would the person I want to be think, act and feel, what would they do?”

Visualize yourself as the person you want to be, take on their perspectives and persona and “Practice Being The Person You Want To Be.” It’s that simple!

What are dangerous and deranged thoughts? Thoughts that are illegal, harmful or detrimental to your health and well-being or hurtful to others.

This illustrates The Three Fundamental Truths that are the Foundation of the Happiness Habit:

1) The most important decision we make on a moment to moment basis is where we focus our time and attention. The sum of these decisions is our life.

2) Whatever we focus our minds upon expands in our consciousness. Whatever we give time and attention to grows in our reality.

3) Thoughts have consequences just like actions have consequences. Beware of the Consequences of Your Thoughts is just an important warning as Beware of the Consequences of Your Actions!

Try it the next time you are hit with a dangerous, deranged thought.

Recognize and Reject Dangerous, Deranged Thoughts and Redirect Your Attention To Positive Activities and Objectives.

Tags:happiness habits, happiness secrets, happy life, happy people, michele moore
Posted in Happiness Notes, Happiness Quotes | 1 Comment »

Criticism, Control and Happiness

CriticismControlNoText-drea

Criticism And Control Occur So Frequently Together They Are Practically Synonymous.

Criticism Is Almost Always A Power Play.

People criticize to try to assert their superiority, power and to gain control of people, situations and interactions.

Critics assert control by planting doubts and disparaging or damaging ideas in people’s minds. They may or may not be factually correct or beneficial.

Criticism Is Corrosive.

Criticism leaves people deflated, demoralized, confused and uncertain about what they should do. That’s often the critic’s intent. Critics like to leave people feeling badly and powerless, that’s how they exert power and control.

If you can get a person to doubt themselves, their ideas or their abilities, it’s easier to control them, dominate them or at least get them to defer to your desires.

Doubt is often all you need to dominate and dissuade others from differing with you.

Criticism Is Counterproductive.

Criticism focuses on what’s bad, wrong or unattractive.

Calling something is bad does not describe what is good. Saying something is wrong does not express what is right or desirable. Describing what you don’t want does not not communicate what you do want.

Criticism only helps to the extent it expresses what to avoid. Criticism does NOT present clear descriptions of successful solutions, strategies or what you can do to improve.

Criticism Is Often A Deliberate Distraction – Critics criticize to derail other people’s success. Deflecting or dealing with criticism takes time, energy, attention and resources from positive, important activities. It’s easy to find yourself worrying about what critics say is wrong rather than focusing on what is truly important to you.

Focus On What You Want To Achieve, Articulate Benefits.

Habitually Happy people focus on what they want to achieve. They can describe why it is desirable, beneficial or attractive. Clear goals help define the steps to attain them.

They spend just enough time with wrongs so they can rapidly recognize and reject bad things. They then redirect their attention, energy and enthusiasm to positive activities that help them build happiness and spiritual success.

Focusing on why they are working and striving for their goals reinforces their desire and drive to achieve them.

Recognize Criticism for What It Usually Is – A Corrosive, Counterproductive Power Play.

Treat criticism like any other Negative Judgment: Ask can it help me in some way? If YES, turn those negative judgments into positive action items. If NO, don’t give critics your time, attention or concern.

Focus On What You Want To Achieve.
Enjoy Your Progress And Eventual Success.

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Tags:criticism control, happiness habit, happiness secret, happy life, happy people, michele moore
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Lives of Great Leaders

ted-kennedy-0b0 Lives of great leaders inspire, excite and challenge us to live better, happier, more fulfilling lives ourselves.

Relish opportunities to explore and appreciate their gifts, resolve to acquire some of their skills or strengths for yourself.

Ted Kennedy’s exuberant enthusiasm for life, his dedication to doing exceptional work and determination to put aside differences to achieve worthwhile goals earned him exceptional respect, admiration and trust.

His spiritual strengths epitomize and exemplify many key Happiness Habits:

Exuberant Enthusiasm for life and for all the opportunities each day offers.

Compassionate Caring for All People, especially the weak, powerless and disenfranchised.

Fierce Independence and willingness to fight for their beliefs against prevailing opposing opinions.

Fearless & Passionate Expression of their Convictions without reserved reticence.

Learning Something New Each Day to turn life into an exciting adventure fueled by eager exploration.

Determination To Do Their Very Best Work drawing on all available resources to achieve their very best.

Fueling Their Life and Work With Fun, expressing genuine delight in everything they do.

Having A Good Time All The Time knowing it’s the best way to get help and support from others.

Making the Most of Every Moment knowing life is entirely too short.

What inspiration do you find in the lives of a great leader?
What makes them so successful and exceptional?
What new qualities do they inspire you to emulate, embrace and acquire?

Tags:happiness habits, happiness secrets, michele moore, ted kennedy
Posted in Happiness News | No Comments »

Single Candles

HEcandle2

The Light of a Single Candle
Is Not Diminished By
Lighting a Thousand More.

This is also true of happiness.
Happiness is not diminished by sharing it.

If we decide to summon up a genuine sense of joy and honest appreciation and then continually project it, we can’t help but take on a more positive mood ourselves.

Our Focus Determines Our Feelings. It’s the First Law of Happiness. By focusing our time and attention on projecting good things we feel good. We may easily brighten someone else’s day as well.

We’re not trying to manipulate people’s moods or make people happy.

We’re simply trying to touch the people we meet with a positive spirit, an honest, enthusiastic smile and genuine appreciation…

A smile and a warm “Good morning” or an unexpected “Enjoy a beautiful evening.”

A heartfelt hello and smile for the lady who hands you coffee in the morning, the bus driver, the toll taker, the men on the sanitation trucks. Everyone you meet.

Imagine what would happen if we all decided to end our aloof, reserved indifference by radiating a genuine sense of warmth? If strangers smiled and acknowledged us as we greeted them the same way?

A single second of shared joy and appreciation to warm our moment as we pass by to enjoy our day.

What would happen if everyone decided to do it? Even for just a day? Would we keep it going and make it a habit?

Some people will scowl and shrink away and that’s okay. We have already brightened our own moment and we’re not allowing them to darken our day. They are the people who need a bright smile and a warm greeting the most. HBcandles4

What would happen if we all decided to do it even for just a day?

We would be much happier, our day much warmer, the world more joyful. We wouldn’t want to stop.

When shall we try it?

Tags:happiness habits, happiness secrets, happy day, happy people, michele moore
Posted in Happiness Quotes | No Comments »

Rational Optimism in Recession?

We are truly at our best when we are Up, confident, energized and happy. Being at our best is especially important during tough times when we must perform our best.

Feeling sad about bad times does not help us deal with them well.

It’s especially important to find ways to be happy during difficult times so we can do our best and limit our stress and pain.

Happiness In Hard Times will explore specific ways of doing this.

The best optimism comes from confidence and a conviction that no matter what happens to us and around us, we will find ways to triumph and be happy.

Changed environments always offer new opportunities, benefits and new freedoms. Our challenge is to find them, embrace them and enjoy them. The greatest dangers are isolation, insecurity and inactivity.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. ~ Anais Nin

Scientific research on post-traumatic growth shows people often become more resilient after facing adversity. Creativity, determination and confidence surge as we adapt to changed circumstances.

Successfully weathering one storm gives us confidence to face others. We suddenly find ourselves easily doing things we never thought we could do before disaster struck.

Business Week’s praise of “rational optimism” left me confused and convinced in the importance of understanding how optimism can both help and hurt during hard times.

“Don’t worry, everything will be okay” are dangerous words when they prompt us to ignore key warning signs or encourage us to be complacent when fast, dramatic action is needed to survive.

Many people mix their moods with their decision making. In prosperous times they are courageous, confident and certain. In bad times they become paralyzed with pessimism.

Habitually happy people know how they like to feel. They like to feel good all the time, no matter what is happening to them or around them. Still, they are not prone to blinding optimism.

They are surprisingly astute in their decision making and make accurate assessments of reality. Once they are sure they have made good decisions, then they use the full force of enthusiasm and positive expectation to drive their visions into reality.

Real optimism is more and very different from a rosy outlook and putting annoyingly positive spins on everything that happens.

True optimism comes from a fundamental confidence that no matter what happens, you will find a way to be happy and enjoy life.

Tags:happiness habits, happiness in hard times, happiness secrets, michele moore, optimism in hard times
Posted in Happiness News | 3 Comments »

What Are Habitually Happy People?

happy2person-00 We all know a few special people who always seem to be truly UP, energized and happy. They light up a room and our lives with their presence.

They seem to be having a good time all of the time and continually radiate genuine joy.

They are very loving people. They love life, they love what they do and they love the people around them, they love themselves.

They live without prejudices and embrace the entire world eagerly.
They have high integrity. We trust, admire and respect them.
They are good decision makers and leaders.
They are high achievers who love creative challenges.
They always enthusiastically try to do their best, be their best and encourage others to be their best too.
They refuse to let difficulties or problems distress or bother them.
When they are down, it never seems to last for long.

Enthusiasm, Energy, Achievement, Integrity, Happiness and Joy Characterize Their Lives.

You know some of these special people. They are not the most prominent or powerful people we know but they certainly are the happiest. We may wish we knew how to be more like them.

Happiness Habit interviewed and studied Habitually Happy, genuinely joyous people from all different walks of life and life situations. We identified the key Values, Beliefs, Habits, Ideals and Boundaries characteristic of happy thought. We call these special qualities Happiness Habits.

If you choose to adopt and practice Happiness Habits, you too will become happy or happier despite what is happening to you and around you.

Explore and Enjoy HappinessHabit.com, HappinessBlog.com and HappinessInHardTimes.com Comment on our postings. Share your thoughts and insights.

Wishing you great happiness and spiritual success,
Michele Moore and the Happiness Habit® Team

Tags:habitually happy, happiness habit, happiness secrets, happy life, happy people, michele moore
Posted in Happiness Notes | 2 Comments »

Happiness Habit Research

happybeaker Over a period of several years, Happiness Habit interviewed and studied habitually happy, genuinely joyous people from many different walks of life and personal situations.

We studied and interviewed people who were cheerfully facing terminal illnesses, job losses and major life challenges.

We intentionally omitted people who seemed happy primarily because of success or good things happening to them, what we term “situational happiness”.

We wanted to answer the question, “What can we do to be happier?” given who we are and the challenges we face.

Our goal was to identify and articulate the key values, beliefs, ideals, habits and boundaries that lead to happiness and spiritual success and explain why they work so well.

We call these key qualities Happiness Habits.

Experience has shown that when people consciously choose to adopt and practice Happiness Habits they become happy or happier despite what is happening to them or around them.

Our mission is to share these key happiness skills summarized in simple statements what we call Coaching Credos that are easy to recall and apply.

If Happiness Habit® concepts are:

1) Consistent with what most people know and believe to be true about happiness. You decide.

2) Consistent with the best current scientific and academic research. They are.

3) Effective, actually help people live happier more spiritually successful lives. You decide.

Then the validity of our approach is proven.

what do you have to loose? Why not give it a try?

Explore and enjoy our Happiness Habit websites and decide for yourself!

Tags:happiness habit, happiness research, happiness secrets, happy life, happy people, michele moore
Posted in Happiness Notes | No Comments »

Be Cool Like Barack Obama

Do You Want To Be Cool Like Barack Obama?

A Key Happiness Habit is:

Don’t hand control of your thoughts, actions or feelings over to outside forces or people who try to hurt or harass you.

Don’t Give Them Emotional Control Over You.

Decide How You Are Going To Think, Act and Feel.

Choose Your Mood and Your Attitude.

Emotional Independence, Freedom and Balance are key Happiness Habits.

This does NOT mean that you don’t get angry or that you don’t decide to take decisive corrective action when necessary.

It does mean you weigh options carefully, decide when and how you will act and that you don’t just automatically react in anger.

Choose the timing, the place and substance of your response carefully.

We all have an Optimal Best Self – a sweet spot or optimal zone where we feel our best, do our best and perform our best. Habitually Happy people try to maintain their optimal Best Self State all of the time. Getting angry and irrational is not part of their process.

Much has been written about Barack Obama’s Cool calm demeanor. His actions and reactions epitomize Emotional Independence. He decides how he will act, react and project himself. He doesn’t let outside forces control his emotions easily.

If you let another person make you angry, you’re giving them control of your thoughts, actions, feelings and your well-being. Don’t do it!

Don’t Help Them Hurt You.

The next time someone tries to hook you into an angry response, simply think, “I’m not giving you control.” It’s that easy.

This does not mean stuffing your feelings or suppressing your emotions. It means not giving them control over you, your attention or your emotions.

Channel Anger Into Activism And Actions That Achieve Positive Goals.

Choose Emotional Independence and Spiritual Freedom. It’s that easy. Decide how you’re going to act, don’t simply react to them. Take command and lead interactions in the direction you want to go. Make this a Happiness Habit.

It’s a great way to stay cool and happy!

Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com for more happiness insights!

Tags:calm obama, cool obama, emotional independence, happiness habit, michele moore, spiritual freedom
Posted in Happiness Notes, Holiday, NoTweet | 4 Comments »

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