Archive for the ‘Happiness Notes’ Category

Happiness, Goodness & Giving

Happiness Target - Goodness and GivingHabitually Happy people are amazingly altruistic. They rarely pass up a chance to be kind when it costs them little or risks them little.

Practicing Continual Kindness Is A Way To Be Happy.

They are also very adept at protecting themselves, pursuing and achieving their goals. They are not “people pleasers,” they do good because it makes them feel good.

It’s an example of the First Law of Happy Thought:
Our Focus Determines Our Feelings.

When We Focus Our Time, Attention and Energy On Doing Good We Feel Good. More importantly…

We can’t expect others to treat us well if we don’t extend the same care, concern and compassion we want from them to them.

I recently heard a noted economist speak on the subject of giving at a church stewardship dinner. He relayed recent studies linking charitable giving to happiness, but missed a few key points:

Altruism Is Attractive – We tend to like and trust altruistic people because we believe they place goodness, right action and the welfare of others on an equal plane with their own concerns.

It’s hard to like or trust selfish people who don’t show integrity.

Make Goodness A Guiding Goal – Doing good makes us feel good. Giving appropriately makes us feel good because we know we are contributing to worthwhile causes. And the flip side is…

When we don’t feel good about our actions, we can’t truly enjoy the rewards those actions bring. Try the Gold Fish Test – if the world knew the details of your actions, how would you and they feel? Worry isn’t worth it, secrets cause stress.

Love Not Logic Prompts Giving – People need clear, compelling visions of the benefits their gifts provide and a love for the cause in order to support them enthusiastically.

It’s a twist on the old sales adage, “Logic makes people think, emotions make them act.” Build benefits and love before asking for expanded contributions.

There’s an important difference between really wanting to do something and feeling we must, ought or have to do it.

Love Propels Happiness And Giving – Demonstrate how to feel good, proud and joyful about giving. Drive giving with desire.

Acquire The Qualities You Admire In Others – Seek good role models and visions of excellence which help to define the steps to achieve them.

Truly happy, successful people are usually very kind, caring, honest, charitable and compassionate.

Look Like and Live Like the Leaders You Admire. You’ll find they usually give very generously.

Action, Activity and Achievement Are Keys To Happiness. Doing Good Makes Us Feel Good.

Explore HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.

Copyright © 2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.

Happiness in Retirement

Many people who truly love their work never want to retire. Then time or mandatory retirement catches up with them and they have no choice.hapiness in retirement - shuffleboard photo2

People who dislike their work can’t wait until the magic time comes.

The question everyone faces is… Then what?

Is a life of leisure all it’s cracked up to be?

What’s the secret to a happy retirement?

If you’re retired and NOT happy, try this…

Find something that makes you mad as hell and go fix it. Or decide to fix a small part of it you can influence and improve. Find something meaningful and worthwhile to devote your life to and work at it diligently.

Find ways to make the world or part of it a better place.

Personal purpose and productivity are important keys to happiness.

A retired banking acquaintance who maintains two large homes and has traveled widely recently quipped,

“Retirement is not all it’s cracked up to be.” He’s a cynic who describes himself as “skeptical” and likes to poke fun at my happiness endeavors.

“Travel?” I asked.

“Be there, done that,” he replied. “We’ve been every where we want to go and there’s no where we want to go back.”

“Passions?” I inquired.

“I don’t have any,” he answered.

“Volunteer work?”

“Did plenty of that while I was at the bank” he answered. After he walked away I realized what he probably really needed was a challenge, something to sink his teeth into.

We spend our lives building and creating businesses and professional careers. Then we walk away thinking our lives will be better when we don’t have to do anything at all. For some it is, for many it is not.

A friend who winters in Naples, Florida comments that many senior executives retire there and then die quickly in three to five years. Their minds and spirits are invigorated by the business challenges they face. Without them, they expire.

It’s as if the universe is saying, You’ve spent your life making money, now it’s time to give back or you may die quickly.

Find a challenge you can sink your teeth into. Make the world a better place. Find something that makes you mad as hell and go fix it. It’s a great way to feel happy, productive and enjoy a long retirement.

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights and resources.

Copyright © 2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.

Fight with Finesse

Defend Your Happiness – Your good mood, your spiritual freedom and your turf against people, events and things that might take them away!Happiness Habit Fight with Finesse Blue Boxing Gloves

http://FightwithFinesse.com explores the Fine Art of Cheerful Corporate Combat.

Continually Radiate Confident, Relaxed, Energized Well-being.

Smile As You Speak. Speak slowly, project your words powerfully and purposefully. Talk to the back of the room. Push back with positive personality.  Adopt an aura of amused, attractive assertiveness.

Emphasize Positives – Benefits, advantages and rewards of your position and suggestions. Avoid personal attacks, criticism and character assassination.

Don’t Disagree, Argue or Say, “No!” State contrary positions in clear, concise, positive, compelling terms. Emphasize and expand the benefits and rewards of your position and the dangers of doing things differently.

Base Your Position on Good Goals and High Ideals EVERYONE Can Embrace and Few Can Fault.

Don’t React Emotionally – Hold on to your personal power. Reacting to an adversary’s attacks gives them control over your actions and feelings. Chart your own course, don’t give them control.

Hook Attention with Abundant Positive Energy – Agree and direct the discussion your way. Positive energy attracts attention and makes people want to listen.

Don’t Look to your Audience for Approval. Seeking approval gives adversaries power and control over your feelings.

Remember Rebellion and Revolt Fuel Happiness – Revolt and rebel against anyone and anything that tries to control you, drag you down or depress your positive spirits. Don’t give adversaries control of your thoughts or feelings.

Continually Radiate Confidence and Relaxed, Energized Well-being.  Try to touch everyone you meet with a positive spirit.

For more happiness habits see HappinessHabit.com

The Fine Art of Cheerful Corporate Combat – FightWithFinesse.com

Copyright © 2001-2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.

Happiness and “Work”

gears3largeWork Is A Series of Steps To
Success, Achievement
And Satisfaction

The word “work” conveys wonderful feelings and images…

A “work of art” describing special beauty, or…

“life’s work,” the pride and satisfaction we gain from personal and professional achievements.

Work is wonderful.

For other people, “work” means misery, difficulty and pain.

Anything associated with “work” must be avoided at all cost.
“Work” is by nature unattractive, burdensome and distasteful.
“Work” deprives us of fun and enjoyment.

Habitually Happy people enjoy very different perspectives. They view “Work” as steps to success and achievement.  They love to achieve and succeed so they always try to enjoy their work.

Habitually happy people decide what they are going to do and then they decide to find ways to enjoy it.  The best way to excel and do well at anything is to cultivate a love for what you do.

They know viewing something they have to do as dreary, difficult or distasteful allows bad attitudes to work against them. They align their attitudes to support their goals, ambitions and decisions.

Even dull,  repetitive work feeds families and allows people to pursue hobbies and higher goals.  Take pride in doing simple things extraordinarily well.

View Work As Steps To Success And Achieving Your Goals. Relish and enjoy each step and you will never toil again.

For more Happiness Habits At Work  and Happiness Habits see HappinessHabit.com

Copyright © 1999-      , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may Not be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.

Happiness is LOW C / C4

How much time do you spend Criticizing in relation to time you devote to creating Confidence, Competence, Credibility and Concern in the people you live or work with?Confidence Creditability Caring Concern

What is your C / C4 ratio?

Criticism is Very Counter Productive! Criticism focuses on what’s wrong, bad or deficient. It leaves people deflated and confused.

Hammering On Wrongs Does NOT Communicate What Is Right, good, successful or appropriate! Criticism hurts people and gives them no hint as to what they should do to improve.

Think instead about what you can do to Create the Four C’s…

Confidence – People must feel good about themselves and their abilities to succeed and perform well.

Competence – We must know what excellence is in order to achieve it.

Credibility – People must think your words and insights can help them.

Concern – We must honestly care in order to listen, absorb and apply your message. If we don’t care, your communication is lost completely.

We all need to be able to recognize and rigorously reject wrongs in order to succeed and do well. This requires no more than 10% of our time.

Focus on Rehearsing, Reinforcing and Rewarding Rights… good, upright actions, activities and responses.

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.

Copyright © 2001-2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.

Happiness Habits – Send Your Spirit Soaring

In the few moments it take a couple of deep, relaxing breaths you can anchor, focus and then send your spirits soaring with delight.seagull0-1.jpg

See yourself on a beautiful beach, hear the sound of waves breaking, smell the salt air.

Relax, wiggle your toes, feel sand beneath your feet, balance your body effortlessly upright.

Take a couple of deep, Breaking Wave Breathsto the sound of the breaking waves.

See yourself smiling and laughing in your mind’s eye. Feel those feelings, take them on for yourself.

Feel light, relaxed, flexible, fluid, free to soar through the air.
Fill your heart and mind with happiness and delight and send
your spirit soaring with the sea gulls.

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.

Copyright © 2001-2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without permission from the authors.

What is Spiritual Freedom?

utahlandscape21.jpg“The highest and greatest of the human freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

~ Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning”

The concept of Spiritual Freedom grew from Viktor Frankl’s incredible accounts of how some men triumphed emotionally and spiritually over the most horrific circumstances, Auschwitz.

“Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical distress.”

Each inmate ultimately chose whether to succumb to prison camp mentality and become a mere product of their environment and experience or to try to triumph spiritually and be something more, better and different.

“Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him – mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp.”

Frankl describes how some men went about comforting and aiding their fellow prisoners while others succumbed to the most selfish, basest motivations and desires.

Frankl illustrates a key aspect of the Happiness Habit :

“If we don’t consciously decide what sort of person we want to be and  then work to become that person, our environment and our experience determine both our identity and our destiny for us.”

Beyond the barbed wires in life, there is always a wide expanse of opportunity, spiritual freedom and emotional independence that frees us from being dominated and controlled by our circumstances.

We can decide what sort of person we want to be and work to become that person.  We can decide to practice being our best selves all of the time and and continually try to do our best, feel our best and be our best all of the time. Our best will continue to get even better.

A key to happiness and spiritual success is to always look past the barbed wire!

See HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights. Copyright 2007, Michele Moore.  All Rights Reserved.  ReprintsMichele Moore is author of How To Live A Happy Life – 101 Ways To Be Happier.

Happiness is Not Lotus Land

happylily.jpgHabitually happy people consciously choose their moods and their attitudes, because they like to enjoy all life has to offer.

They don’t want to waste time in bad, unhappy, non productive moods or mental states.

They decide what they are going to do and they consciously decide to enjoy it. They manage their actions and their attitudes very effectively.

They don’t continually look outside of themselves for happiness. They create their own joy though their actions, appreciation and their achievements.

This is a very different perspective from people who continually seek happiness outside of themselves. When they can’t find it, they are often disappointed and dejected. Some retreat into a mythical sort of lotus land to find some semblance of happiness and bliss.

Enduring Happiness is not a retreat from reality but a different perspective on reality.

  • It’s knowing we are truly at our best when we are up and happy, so we try to be that way all of the time.
  • It’s knowing life is far richer and beautiful when we are appreciating all that’s around us, not judging.
  • Happiness definitely requires an independent, rebellious spirit that refuses to let difficulties take control of our hearts and minds. Refusal to let difficulties define our identity, feelings or our actions is a key to happiness.

Is it easier to be happy when everything around us is beautiful and life is going well? Absolutely, especially if you already embrace and practice these happiness habits.

If you don’t, no measure of good things coming into your life will ever bring you enduring happiness.

We can use difficult times to strengthen our happiness skills and our determination to triumph over distress and despair.

You decide what you want to do.

See HappinessHabit.com for more insights on how to live a happy life.

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.

Happiness = Niceness

happyfocus1.jpgWe are always amazed and delighted by how truly and consistently nice genuinely happy people are. This was one of the biggest surprises from our interviews and studies of habitually happy people. Happiness and niceness invariably are linked together.

By nice, we don’t mean door mat, subservient, submissive or excessively concerned about other people’s opinions. Habitually happy people were anything but that! They all tended to be very independent, somewhat outspoken and in many ways, adventurous.

By niceness we mean genuinely caring and being concerned about other people and the people around you. Passion propels happiness. Passion without caring and consideration for others is empty and self serving. Caring for others helps create compassion.

Many thanks to the Happiness Institute for today’s posting from Eastern Progress that reminds us how niceness contributes to happiness. Helpful messages often come when we need them the most! 😉

We know people who are nice but who are not especially happy, niceness by itself does not ensure happiness. We never encountered anyone who was genuinely and consistently happy who was not nice. Sociopaths may fall into this category, their happiness is delusional.

Focusing our time and attention on doing good things well helps ensures happiness. Niceness, care and concern for others as well as ourselves is part of living well.

On a very different tone, ever wonder Why Having More No Longer Makes Us Happy? See an excellent article on the over emphasis of continued economic growth in AlterNet but be warned, it’s serious stuff! That’s why they call economics the dismal science.

See HappinessHabit.com for more insights on happy living.

Copyright 1999-      , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.

Happiness Without Pursuit

happystpetersburg1.jpgShould Happiness Be Pursued? Or does happiness flow best and naturally just from a life well lived?

See Happiness Without Pursuit
Mark Teeter 3/17/07 St. Petersburg Times


One of my grandfathers pursued happiness and the other did not. The first tried a dozen disparate jobs but found only modest success and fleeting satisfaction.

The non-pursuer — a rare combination of journalist, historian and Methodist minister — did all three for their own sake and that of others, and did them very well. When he died, Time magazine titled his obituary “A Happy Man.”

It’s a wonderful article and analysis of happiness in Russia!

See HappinessHabit.com for more insights about how to live a happy life.

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Reprints.